Where to find Aimee:
Where to find Rebecca:
Where to find Aimee:
Where to find Rebecca:
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Aimee and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Aimee to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Bonjour, Rebecca.
Track 1:Banjola, Aimee.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:What is new and good in your world? Excellent.
Track 1:and good? Well, we are just barely a month living here in Paris and my husband starts school on Tuesday, four days from now. So that's when the new proper routine and adventure starts. The whole point of moving here. And we've already chosen our next apartment. So we're in this one for six months, but we now know where we'll be living for the following three months. So that has informed some choices we're making while living here as well. So that's what's, that's what's new.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Uh, before we talk about the housing, I'm super curious. Are you going to be participating in Damien's new morning routine? Because I saw that video on Instagram. You did not look happy to have made it to the school by 7 30 in the morning.
Track 1:Well, yeah, we are now getting up at 5 a. m. Um, I was, I was still a little sleepy in that video, but actually no, I don't mind it at all. The challenge is, and I know you understand this, my work hours go into the evening till about seven, and then we have dinner, and then, you know, maybe we'll go for a walk, and so our day ends around ten or eleven, and I'm the kind of girl who Wants slash needs eight to nine hours of sleep a night. And because of math, that's a problem. If you're getting up at 5 AM. Um, yeah, I do want to though, when we made the decision to move here, I was really hoping, that I would get to walk him to school and then I could go off and do my work. And then after that, um, He would come home and then we'd have our evenings, but it's been a bunch of wondering because we didn't have his school schedule until last week. And it's all over the place. So some days he starts at 7 30 in the morning. Some days he starts at 11 AM, but we'll go into the evenings. There's some Saturdays cause it's, The restaurant industry. And I figured that would be true. So that means that yes, we will have some early morning routines if I survive. And there will also be days when we can take it a little bit more chill, which is nice,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:That is nice. I'm glad it's not 7 a. m. six days a week, particularly with your U. S. work schedule.
Track 1:but I have to say that the commute, I mean, we literally walk across the Sen stare at the Eiffel tower in pink tinge skies with birdsong filling the air. I mean, I'm not exactly complaining.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:That sounds, that sounds like it would be worth getting up for.
Track 1:It really is. You know, so right now I have to get used to the new timing and I need to get myself to bed a little bit earlier and it will be well worth it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Amazing. So where are you moving next? How does this impact where you're living now? Give me, give me the housing scoop.
Track 1:So the apartment where we live now is about a 45 minute walk to Damien's school. It's in a city called Boulogne Bianco. It's a mouthful and, um, it's not in Paris. So it's just like if you're in Seattle, if you live in Shoreline or Edmonds or West Seattle, you don't technically live in Seattle, but you can see it. It's right there. Okay. So that's where our current home is with that 45 minute walk. And then the new home will be a 20 minute walk and properly in the 15th arrondissement. So that's one big change. The cool changes are that the next place is decorated. It's not just decorated. It has a bathtub. It has a terrace. It has air conditioning and it has heated floors.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:What?
Track 1:It's no bigger than our current apartment. It's still a tiny postage stamp. Um, oh, but it's two levels with a spiral staircase. So it's just this little jewel box. And so here, where we are right now, it's, it's clean, it's bright. The view is amazing. But it's fairly, fairly sparely decorated. And we were thinking about getting a rug, which has had its own adventures of us trying to find these resources, but we have since, I know we've talked about the mail in the past on our podcast. We have since successfully gotten mail, which includes two yoga mats from Amazon. So now we're not needing the rug for comfort purposes for our morning routine. And since the next place will be so decorated, I'm like, you know what? I think I'm fine. So it's changed because, I mean, we're living in these temporary situations, three to six months at a time. And while I want to be happy at home, I also don't want to Make it really complicated to move from place to place to place either
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Right, right. That's, that feels like that would be a significant level up in making happy, like making a happy home.
Track 1:in terms of going to the more decorated apartment.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:No, in terms of leveling up your skills, right, of making your home your happy place when you're not. Getting these curated items when you're not nesting in the way that we've all been raised to nest in our consumerist culture, how
Track 1:and
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:that work?
Track 1:yeah, cause for the listeners who don't know, I spent the last 15 years. As an interior designer, that was my entire job. And before that, growing up in the military, my parents were the kinds of people who unpacked within two weeks and everything was all appointed and it's all of our, you know, family mementos. So this is a really different experience for me. And it's funny because. Years ago, I was on a episode of, um, the podcast, bittersweet life, which is an expat podcast, and they were asking me, you know, some ideas and tips for how you make a temporary home feel like a home. I'm really excited to go back and listen to it and see what I said. Because I. What I have discovered is the most important part of making this home my home was just in scrubbing it like clearing out the old almost energy of the, of the other occupants and because I'm living in Paris and everything is so tiny, my home Is more than just the stamp that like the literal footprint of my apartment, the markets, the cheese shops, the cafes, the third places are a much more important part of quote home here. And I don't know if this is city living or if it's Paris living or if it's expat living, it's probably a combination of all of those things. So being happy at home is. Ever, it's just as much as important as it always has been to me,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yes, of course.
Track 1:but I'm finding that a single fluffy blanket, having the cat here, having it clean and everything tidy is much more important than the color of the sofa or whatever. It's been really revealing and really good for me.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, when I say level up, I'm like leveling up your skills at discovering how to make home in this situation with all of these different experiences that you've never had before.
Track 1:Yeah. And on top of that, it is, it is literally different living in Europe and trying to do remodeling and decorating kinds of things in the States. We are overwhelmed with the amount of choice we have. You don't like this store. Don't worry. There's. 3, 000 other ones that sell similar yet different things. And, you know, just the other day I was on an expat group and somebody was saying, where can I find a sofa that isn't an eight week lead time, which is a thing in the States too, because you've got your ready made quick purchases. And then you've got your, I'll wait eight weeks to eight months for things purchases. But I'm noticing that there's simply are fewer. Stores here, there are fewer options. And I think it's the culture thing. They don't need all the choices because that's not where their priority lies.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you said that's where their priority lies as though there is only one priority and not priorities, which was a conversation my husband and I had last night regarding the book essentialism,
Track 1:One of my favorites.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yes, yes. And he, I know when he listens to this, he's going to bust out laughing because he told me that last night. He was like, you know, this thing that I keep thinking about that I keep remembering from the book essentialism. And then he told me, you know, there is no such thing as priorities. There's only a priority. And, you know, my brain broke a little bit because, Oh, that's right. That is how it used to be. What the heck are we doing to ourselves? So. I love that you just said that. It is not a French priority to have unlimited choices.
Track 1:it isn't, and it isn't a French priority to have your home be perfect. That isn't a mark of home success as far as I can tell. Yeah. That book, I remember when I first read it and I was reading it from a business perspective. And for anybody who hasn't read it, one of the big graphics in this book is a circle. And then it has arrows coming out, radiating out from the circle. And those arrows represent all the things you're trying to do. And so I sat down and I did it for my, all of my work goals and priorities. There must've been 30 arrows. Did you not? And I'm like, Oh. This might be why I'm tired since then, because I've been practicing from this book for a long time. At this point, I've started to actually flip that graphic. So if the circle becomes you, then the arrows can point in, what are we feeding into our lives? What are we allowing into our lives? Because so much of. What people do, and especially with interior design, it's shaped by what they think they should do or what they think other people want of them. and and that's, I'm coming to decide for myself, not a good decision matrix. It's sort of like when the mail gets delivered to your home, you don't even have to let the junk mail in. You could say, you could stop at the recycling bin before you even get in your house and say, none of this garbage has to come in. I don't answer my phone. Pretty much ever. If, if it's important, they'll leave a voicemail. And so before I was really focusing on where am I putting my energy out to, but now that I'm here, I'm really thinking more about what am I letting in? And am I okay with that?
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I love that. I mean, it's very timely because I feel, again, for our U. S. audience, it's an election year, and there's going to be a lot of stuff coming at you. And this is a time when we definitely need to be mindful of what we take in.
Track 1:It's okay. I have a funny example of that. So I actually enjoy pretty much all kinds of music. Um, including country music, which some people might find surprising, but right now I have told Damien that we're not allowed to play country music until the elections are over, because for some reason, that genre triggers my Democrat Republican frustrations, and then I feel angry for no reason. There's nobody to be mad at. And so, yeah, it's, it's the same decision I made when I said, I can't have packages of Oreos in the house because I will eat all of them. We have to make choices about what's around us. And if they're making us angry for no good reason or sabotaging our healthy habits, we have the power and choice to say, yeah, no, I'm not going to let that in. And it's really, it is empowering. I
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:it. is. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It really is a, it's a small but significant way to take your life back.
Track 1:Yeah. Yeah. Just like managing your screen time or deciding what will be in your Instagram feed. You know, I used to have a lot of interior design in my Instagram feed for obvious reasons. And I discovered that it actually made me feel bad, both about my home and about my work for my clients, because people only show the very, very, very best, right? They don't show the reality. And so I said, this isn't good for me or my career. And I unsubscribed to most of those feeds. And now my Instagram feed is almost entirely things like fluffy bunnies and choreographed dance routines. And it is a place of joy and I love it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:That's fantastic. So how, how long has it been until you move into your new place closer to the school?
Track 1:That's still five months away. Yeah. We're only one month into this place. There was something, it was all Damien driving it, which is unusual. I'm usually the one who's going, where are we going to live? Where are we going to live? I think that waiting. A month to start school from getting here. First of all, it was brilliant. I mean, we can't imagine having tried to accomplish all the bureaucratic stuff we needed to do. If we'd only shown up a week or something before his school started. So we're really happy with the choice, but you know, I got here and within a week I started school. I mean, excuse me, I started work and he's just been waiting. Right. So he's in this, liminal in between place without an identity and he's having lovely walks through Paris, but with no real purpose.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I've been wondering how that has landed for him because it really is probably the first time in his adult life that he has not had. Work that's needed to be done, something that is being demanded of him.
Track 1:Yeah. When we, you know, he finished the sale of his company just barely before we actually left the States. And that company was 25%. Appliance installers, you know, five different trucks going out every single day, always somebody calling in sick or something going wrong. So it's this floor got scratched. And, and even if things weren't going wrong as a business owner, you're always assumed something is about to go wrong.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Especially if you've got a lot of employees and a lot of moving parts.
Track 1:And especially if those employees are mostly dudes under the age of 25.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah. Yeah,
Track 1:So yeah, it's, I think he's enjoying it, but it is uncomfortable in the way anything new is. And he can't just settle into it and just be some sort of like, Retiree, because school is starting and it will be 35 plus hours a week. And, so, yeah, so I think he just wanted to make some decision to have some kind of control or say, so I was like, you know, not gonna hurt us. Let's go ahead and find our next place. And it's nice knowing where we're going to live next and have
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I
Track 1:look forward to.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I love that you were able to find a place so far in advance. That kind of
Track 1:actually. Airbnb has been our solution for all of these things. And it's an interesting choice because on the face of it, it's more expensive than getting an apartment straight out. But number one, it is nigh on impossible to get somebody to rent to you when you are a foreigner in Paris. And that is in large part because the rental rules are so renter friendly that squatting is a big problem. In Paris,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:We have that problem in Spain, too.
Track 1:secondly, and then, of course, to go with that, you have to have a bunch of things like a bank account, which we haven't done yet. 2nd is it looks cheaper on the surface of it, but you're then responsible for all your utilities. And it's funny when you walk around looking at the places to rent here, they have these scales like a through Z, I guess, of. Energy efficiency and they're all like an F I mean, it's horrible. They're just bad. So these places just leak energy. So you're responsible for your utilities, which you have to be able to get, which is a hard thing as a foreigner, if you can even get somebody to rent to you in the first place. And on top of that, moving is more expensive. If you're trying to move a bunch of stuff, it's logistically more challenging and you have to buy all that stuff. So with Airbnb's. It's all in one number. We have a system that we can go to if it all went to heck. Which is huge
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Right.
Track 1:and it's furnished. So we're not having to go through the hassle and challenge and expense of buying things in a place where we don't even know where to buy things. So it's worked great for us. And we rented this place, I think nine months before we came out.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Awesome. How are you feeling about the new neighborhood? Have you, do you, are you familiar with the new neighborhood where you'll be moving?
Track 1:Oh my gosh. Okay. This is actually a funny little story. So yes, it's in the 15th, which is where his school is. And we. When we did our three month trial stay here, we spent two weeks in that neighborhood. So pretty comfortable with it. But the, maybe a week after we got here, this, this time, we were just wandering around kind of in his school area. And we came across this building that was. bananas skinny. It's so skinny, right? It's, and that's, I love this about Paris. They just carve out spots, put things and they fit. So I remember I, I haven't posted that yet. Cause I'm horrible about posting on Instagram, but I filmed it. Cause I'm like, look how skinny this building is. Fast forward to last week. And we've discovered that the Airbnb was in that skinny building. And
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I love
Track 1:gotta be a sign. This has gotta be Kismet. And we actually applied for a different one first with an unresponsive landlord. And I was so happy when it fell through, because this one's a little bit more money than the one we first applied for. And I was like, it's meant to be, I'm supposed to be in this place. It's not as walkable a neighborhood as we're in right now. It's a little bit more traffic y, but I mean, between the fact that it's this So weird skinny building. It's up on, I don't know, fifth or sixth floor. So the views will still be nice and expansive and the terrace and all the other things I mentioned earlier, I'll give up some walkability.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Do you have a lift? Is there an elevator?
Track 1:I want to say there is, but we're not that worried about it here. We're on the seventh floor and I am proud to say that with rare exception, we take the stairs. Even when we forget something, we climb the stairs. If we forget something a second time, we take the elevator. Um, yeah, I got, I got strong little butt muscles at this point. Tell you what those stairs.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:European Living will do that too.
Track 1:Yeah. Even my rings are a little bit loose now.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Wow.
Track 1:I know. And I'm just, I want to, I don't want to change anything. Even my clothes are. And I don't want to like go buy new stuff yet because I don't know if this is the new normal, or if this is just me kind of my body going, Whoa, that's a lot of walking.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah. Yeah.
Track 1:Yeah. Damien's actually said, you know, you don't need to lose any more weight. And I'm like, I'm not trying to, it's just that the food here is so dang healthy. I've eaten sugar and sugary things maybe three times in the last month. That's crazy compared to my American lifestyle.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:You know, that's, the thing is, is that I don't think, I, I encourage you to hold that perspective, but that, you know, it's just so easy to eat healthy in France, but my child had no problems finding pain au chocolat any time he wanted one or getting, you know, pastries or sweet things in
Track 1:It's all very available in all the American snacks are available to the differences. You have to go get them. like, Damien, I noticed the other day when we were walking through the metro where there's all these advertisements on the walls, big posters. They're all, pretty much all, for things to do. Cultural events, and museum things, and music things. And then there's some grocery store advertising, but the food advertising simply doesn't exist here. When I go, when I drive down the street in America, First, I crave McDonald's, then I crave Burger King, then I crave Jack in the Box. It just depends on what I'm driving past. Here, I can walk past a McDonald's and not even realize I'm walking past a McDonald's.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Well, the signage is so subtle.
Track 1:It is, and it makes a profound difference because all marketing is psychological. It's planting an idea in your mind, which then makes you literally physically salivate And now your body legitimately wants to eat food that it didn't need before you saw that advertisement. So yes, all of it's here. I'm lucky because I'm not really a big fan of French, French pastries, so that helps. But the, between all of that and the fact that French people do not walk around eating. If you see somebody walking on the street while eating, and it's not just the nubbin of a baguette. They are not French. So, and I care about fitting in to a culture. So I'm not between meals snacking and it's, so it's not any one of these ingredients, just like an apple is more than more than the sum of its parts. It's. All of it. It's walking up the stairs. It's not having the food advertising. It's having a culture of not snacking between meals. And on top of all of that, the actual food is freaking delicious. I eat a hard boiled egg at a restaurant and I'm swooning. Like, what is that? Yeah.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:It's amazing when there's like more nutrients in the food, like you cellularly know and respond to it.
Track 1:I don't know if the egg yolks here are more nutritious because I'm not you and I don't have your job, but they are so yellow.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah. They're macaroni and cheese yellow. It's amazing. They glow. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. And yes, that is, that's a sign of much higher carotenoid levels. It is very much a different egg. It tastes different. It's,
Track 1:Fabulous.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:different. Yeah. Yep.
Track 1:And I would say, you know, I had done a lot of work with you on my eating habits back in America. If I hadn't already done a lot of that work, I think this would be a lot harder because I wasn't coming off of a big, like I did sugar load right at the end just because I'm like, I'm never going to see Reese's again. So was shoving my face full of all of it. Not really enjoying it, but just kind of the. I may never get this again thing,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:The FOMO is so real.
Track 1:because I'd already eased my body into the idea that real food is what I wanted to be eating, I think that it was an easier transition as well. I'm
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Is there anything that you want to leave our listeners with today?
Track 1:going to leave, uh, I'm going to leave our listeners with a book recommendation. There is a classic book out there called French Women Don't Get Fat.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Oh yeah, I remember that one.
Track 1:And so that one plus bringing up bébé, I read both of them from a kind of an anthropological view. I was trying to going, you know, what do they have to say about this? And I did find a lot of helpful gems in there as I was practicing thinking French before I left the States. How could I change how I think about food? And it was an easy read with a lot of strong opinions that you can ignore. But the idea is that there are different ways that we can see our choices. And if you can't actually leave the States to discover a new culture, there are through books and podcasts and other ways, ways to sample this other way of being and see how it feels. So that's my, that's my, what I'll leave you with today.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:I love it. And that is one of the joys of books, is being able to travel without leaving your home.
Track 1:Exactly. I guess that means that's it for today. So, à la prochaine fois!
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024_051421:Hasta luego!
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!