Bonjhola

Ep 32 - Sweat, Grit, and Perserverance: Recording Life’s Marathon Moments

• Rebecca West • Episode 32

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Aimee and Rebecca dive into Aimee's visit to Paris to visit Rebecca, Damian and Murray, which also coincided with the Olympic Games. They discuss the exhilarating experience of watching the marathoners, including the determination of both the frontrunners and those who battled just to finish. The conversation explores themes of resilience, the transient nature of pain and glory, and the importance of documenting life's significant moments as it relates to their own lives as expatriates. Whether you're an athlete, a world traveler, or someone looking for a bit of inspiration, this episode is filled with stories of courage and perseverance. Tune in for laughs, deep reflections, and a reminder that every journey, no matter how small it may seem in hindsight, is worth remembering.

Where to find Aimee:

Where to find Rebecca:

Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Aimee and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Aimee to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Bonjola Aimee,

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Bonjola, Rebecca.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

you know, as

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I just saw

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I was just going to say, we're recording on Tuesday, but you left me yesterday cause you were here in Paris for the Olympics. Would you like to give us a debrief?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

everyone. I got to visit Rebecca in Paris. I got to meet Murray the cat. Well, I know Murray. I know Murray. Murray

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

him in his French. Yes.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

got to, I got to experience Murray respecting me, which is evidently very rare and infrequent that Murray the cat will like and respect you if you are a hairless cat. Uh, beast, like humans are. So, I feel deeply honored.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I think it also kind of speaks to trauma. Um, ever since we've started moving him around this much, he has become a little bit more social. I think he's sort of like. I don't know what the right way to put it is, but he's, he's kind of, he checks in more like, Hey, where are my people? Who, where am I? Are things okay? Are things normal?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

That's interesting.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

his social behavior has changed since we've moved to France.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Huh.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

he has never been as chill around somebody as he was around you. That was remarkable.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I think that's really cool.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I have to say, I was really nervous about having you come stay in our less than 400 square foot apartment, having to walk through our bedroom to get to the bathroom. How was it for you?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

It was cozy, but I am, for all intents and purposes, like, a relatively miniature human. And so, I was not terribly worried about it, because I fit well in tiny spaces. I don't take up a lot of space. physical space with my stature. I was really surprised that your sofa was actually too short for me. Um, I didn't know that because that's the first time that's ever happened in my life. Actually,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Everything in Paris is petite and brought up through windows. You know, um, this is the most comfortable couch we have ever had in an Airbnb staying in Paris.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

it is perfectly fine to sleep on. It is a little short, right? You can't stretch out, but, but it was totally fine to sleep

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I was also so nervous because you were coming during our first heat wave, but then you reminded me that you're from Spain, but then I reminded you that we don't have air conditioning. So how was that for you?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

it was like being in Spain, more or less. I'm really glad I left when I did, given what you told me before we started recording about how toasty it was last night in your apartment.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

The very next night it was 91 degrees here in the apartment. It was marriage ending heat, but it looks like we've come through.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Married?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Yes, married.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Okay.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

But also, also the heat wave, um, we have this. beautiful layer of gray clouds today, and it is the best gift the universe could have given me because that was tough. That was the hottest it's been in our apartment. And the problem is that there's never any relief from it. You know, there's unless I go to the car for to go grocery shopping. Or, you know, go to a coworking space that has, air conditioning. Or my favorite thing is to splurge on a really long Uber ride with air conditioning. There's just no relief. And so after a while, it just really starts to eat at you or me. I should only speak for myself. Um, yeah, today's better. And my, my mood is definitely better. But

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

and I taketh the heat away.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

let's get to the point of your visit. You were here for the Olympics. You were here to watch the marathoners. So I also watched the marathoners, which I would not have done without you. Was it everything you hoped for?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

It was better. It was better. I was, well, I mean, I didn't honestly have many expectations in the beginning. I waffled a bit. I was like, Aimee, you're in Europe. The Olympics are so close to you. If you're ever going to go, now's the time to go. You will probably regret this if you don't go. And by time I came to the point where I was like, you're going to regret this if you don't do it. And I started looking at tickets, like, you know, all the tickets for all the events were like, I couldn't find anything anywhere except for tickets to the closing ceremony, which were a thousand Euro and I was like, no, that is not happening.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Although apparently they did get to see Tom Cruise zipline into the stadium as part of that thousand Euro ticket.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

That's not worth a thousand Euro to me.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

The person I follow on Instagram said that was what it made it worth it. So, you know, it's all a matter of perspective.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

yeah. I saw him jump up and down on a couch like 30 years ago. So I'm good. I guess maybe it was only 20. I don't know.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Yeah, well, let's not do math on time. That's it. That's a depressing rabbit

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

let's not go there. Let's not go there anyway. Um, so I didn't. Um, you know, I knew, okay, I'm going to go, I'm going, I'll just go on the course, right? I'll just go on the course and watch the Olympians from the sidelines because they're going to be running in throughout the streets of Paris. And you know, a couple of days before I left, I realized I was like, Aimee, this isn't like going to a normal marathon. To watch from the sidelines. This isn't even like going to Boston where they're like five and 10 people deep in places. You're going to freaking Paris to watch Olympians. There's no way, given how short you are, that you're going to see anything at all. It's like, well, I'll just go have fun with Rebecca and Damien. Then if I see, you know, if, if I can't see anything, it'll be whatever. And then it turns out that's not the case at all. Like we had amazing views. It was great. And the course, you know, went through your neighborhood, right?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

It was like a what? 15 minute walk for us to get to that great spot at the 14, 14 kilometer mark.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

yeah, yeah, it was probably about 20 minutes to get there on foot. And, and yeah, so we saw them at the 14 kilometer mark, which is what about maybe eight miles in about a third of the way through the race. And then, you know, and then we went to towards Le Cordon Bleu to watch the course go by there, which was at that point, probably about. 35 kilometers or so, um, which would have been about 20 miles into, into a 26 mile race or, you know, 35 out of a 42, uh, K race and both places. We were able to walk right up to the barricade and see them, which was incredible. It was better than I had hoped that it would be for sure. And I think the thing that with both the men's race and the women's race, the, the thing that was most impactful for me were those last place finishers.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Hmm.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Like they just. Watching them to me was more impressive than watching the, the world record holders cross the finish line. Well, actually I didn't see it across the,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

because as a non runner and non marathoner, um, I was surprised by a couple of things. So at the 14 K mark, what I saw was we had our leader and then. Just steps. I mean, like steps behind the leader, but enough that you're like, wow, that leader is definitely leading. There was a pack of leaders. And then there was sort of the rest of the group, but they were all pretty tight together. And then I didn't realize how much they spread out over the course of a marathon. So when we saw them again at the 35 mile mark, a kilometer mark, you still had some leaders, but there were a few more leaders and they were kind of all in a mix. Then you had the following pack, And then they trailed out forever. That's where they really started separating from each other. And then we noticed, um, we had noticed one guy limping at the 14 K mark. We're like worried about him. That very last guy from Mongolia. Yeah. So this was all new to me. I'd never seen him. I mean, I actually was in a marathon, but that's not athletic the way like that sounds much better than it was. So I, this is my first time really seeing that. So I know you're talking about how that those front runners that you, you pointed out to me how loose they were and they were like, like they might as well been taking a Sunday stroll. They just were in their element. And then,

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

were still warning

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

yeah. And then the people in the back, yeah. Looked like me trying to catch the bus. They're like, no, you know, it was remarkable the different physicalities. So I just wanted to bring our listeners into that. If they're like me and have never really seen this, what you're really seeing humans, both at the peak of their physical ability, and also at the depths of struggling inclined to accomplish something.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Right,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

having brought everybody there with me, continue with what you took away as an actual athlete.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

So there was, yeah. So there was the Mongolian, right. Who at the 14, uh, 14 K mark, a third of the way through the race, he's already limping. And you know, I mean, I, I know viscerally like how far he has to go and it was just crushing to see him struggle so early on and to see how far behind he was. And, uh, for those of you who followed the race, um, you'll know that, uh, And if you didn't, I'll tell you, you'll know that the, the record holder, right? Kip, I think I do not know. I've never heard his name said aloud, so I will not pronounce it correctly. But Kipchoge, um, who's he's 39. He has a stellar record in the Olympics and marathoning. And he ended up dropping out of the race and it was his, his last. And he, he retired, he's retired. He's like, I'm done. That was, you know, it was the worst marathon of my life. And now I'm retiring because, you know, as a, as an Olympian, he's quite, um, on in years.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

and this was a really hard course for a marathon, right?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

yes, yes, And evidently it was the most difficult Olympic marathon course to date. There was the heat of course, which, you know, there was nothing anybody could do about that. Um, but the course itself, you know, started in the center close to, um, you know, in the center close to,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Louvre, Notre Dame, that whole area.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

yeah, that whole area. Exactly. And then they went out to Versailles and they came back and on the route back, there were two hills, but, and so there was one, there was one, I'm going to call it a normal hill. relatively short. And then the second hill was about 450 meters or so, which is about a quarter mile, but it was at 13 and a half percent grade. And if you've ever been in a gym and you've been on the treadmill, if you take the treadmill and you put it all the way up to the very highest incline that you can go, that is a 10 percent grade. So it was, So it was even steeper for than that, and it was for a quarter mile. So you have, you have the heat, you have that incline, and that incline was, I want to say it was somewhere around, somewhere around the 18 mile mark. So you finish that incline and then you still have, you know, a good, a good, uh, 10 miles to go. In the heat.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

So the person who was favored to win did not even finish. That was the, they call it, that's a DNF right on the, on the records.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

A DNF. Exactly. The person who, one of the favorites did not finish, uh, he, he dropped out due to an injury and, or due to, I mean, he got bumped basically what happened and then felt some significant pain after being hit by another marathoner because when you're going at that speed, right? And these guys are, these guys are running 13 miles an hour for context, which is, you know, I don't, watching them, seeing them in real life, I still cannot fathom that occurring, even though I've actually now witnessed

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

You mean running that fast or running into each other?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

All of

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Okay.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

All of it. I can't being that fast. I can't imagine being that fast for that long. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be going that fast and to have someone else going that fast, like run into you. Um, but, you know, it was a significant enough impact on his body that far into the race because it happened about 30 kilometers in, uh, or about, you know, about the 20 mile mark that he, he was, he was done. Right. He was like, that's it. I can't, I'm not going to finish this. And he pulled out. Um, but our, our, Mongolian Olympian did not.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

That's right. Because there were about five people or so who did not finish and the guy that was struggling made it all the way to the end.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

He made it all the way to the end. And we had, you know, we were looking for him and looking for him and didn't find him, didn't know whether or not he was still on the course. Uh, whether or not he had dropped out, because was definitely injured by, you know, when we saw him the first time. So we left to go look for a bathroom, get some coffee, found neither, and then as we were going back to the metro, right, that's when we heard them cheering and we saw him. On the course and he was still with it. And that was, it's just incredible, right? The amount of grit and perseverance. And then the next morning I got to see that happen again with the women's marathon. And, um, for this one, like you, you had your tango lesson. And so I went out by myself and I turned it into my own run. So I ran to the 14 K mark and watched the women go through. And waited until I thought it was the end. And then I started running towards Le Cordon Bleu, but I decided to actually keep going and get closer to the finish. And I ended up, I ended up probably about, it was by the last aid station. So I'm not sure precisely where on the course that was, but I could see the, you know, I could see the Eiffel Tower from where we were at. It was very close to and as I was running from the 14 kilometer mark over towards the Eiffel Tower. I saw the last runner in the women's group, who, and she was very, I mean, you know how far behind the Olympian from Mongolia was. She was so much further behind than the rest of the pack. Um, that, It, I don't have a way to adequately express how much further behind she was in comparison, but it was, it was a lot. She was very, very far behind. She didn't look like she was injured. She was just running slow. And I don't know what was going on for her. There's actually very little, about how that race was for her in the media. So I don't know anything about her story. Um, but I saw her and I was like, Oh, wow. She's like, she's super, super behind. And then, Towards the finish, I got there quite a bit early because you know, I only ran, I only had to run four miles and, and, and all the other women were running another, another 20 miles. So I'm not so slow that I wasn't able to beat them to that mark on the course. And I got myself a cappuccino There were quite a few more people there towards the finish, but not so many people that I couldn't, Squeeze my way in to be right there, pressed up against the barricade. And I ended up next to three Americans, actually. Two women, uh, who were living in Munich, going to school. And a gentleman who I think is from the Bay Area, his name was Dane, and he's been spending a lot of time in Ukraine. And they were, they were talking, you know, about, All sorts of different things and said something to which I felt was an appropriate place to kind of butt in and squeeze into the conversation. And so I did. And, um, and so we were just kind of loosely chatting about inconsequential things. Cause I can't actually really remember much of what we discussed. And then the Olympians came in and here it was, it was different. There was the, the women who were, um, Uh, in the lead were packed together very, very closely together. And there was only about four or five of them and they were all Ethiopian and Kenyan naturally. Um, and the, the winner of the women's marathon, Sifan Hassan, uh, she represents the Netherlands and she was, she was in that pack, but not at the front of that pack. She was kind of hovering in the back and she has. She is a very unique athlete in that she does short distance as well as long distance. And she had already earlier gotten two bronze medals for shorter distance races.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

In the Olympics. Yeah.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Yes. This weekend. Right. So she had done, she had done two events, uh, already placed the bronze and then was competing in the marathon. So she ran, I think she did the 5k and the 10 K and got a bronze in both of those and then was doing the marathon and was in the lead or in the leading pack anyway, and she ended up actually not only finishing in first place and getting the gold, but also. Making a woman's marathon Olympic course record.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Pretty remarkable because we started out by saying that this is considered one of the hardest or the hardest course in marathon history in the first place.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

exactly, exactly, absolutely phenomenal. So here is someone who can both go the distance and has the muscle fibers and technique to go for speed as well. And, I don't, again, like I don't, how is that humanly possible? I don't understand that. How does that even work? Beyond my comprehension, seeing them run beyond my comprehension because the way that they run, it doesn't look like they're going as fast as they look. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. The, the woman who finished last in the women's marathon, she's from Bhutan and, um, the group of us Americans, we decided to stay and wait for her. And we were waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. She ended up coming through 90 minutes after the first place finisher. And we didn't, the only reason we knew that she had not dropped out was because they were not closing down the course. The volunteers were still there. Dill on the course. And so we stayed and we stayed and we stayed and chatted and the conversation went to politics, which was kind of lame because I just don't even really, I just don't want to talk about that anymore. So I just don't want to, but it went there. Um, and then, and then she came. And she came through and we, you know, we had looked up her name, so we chanted her name as she came by and she, like she was in another place. She did not, when I looked at the footage of her finishing, she had the same look on her face as she did when she ran by us. And, and so I think she just went into, went into her deep place is what I call it. Where you just disassociate from your body and you just go somewhere safe. So you can get through, you go to your safe place inside, deep, deep inside. Uh, cause we were calling her name. She did not, you know, and she didn't respond. She just kept going, not a change in her face. She had no recognition at all. She was somewhere else. And when she crossed, when I looked at her finishing time, she completed that marathon. In the exact same time frame that I completed my marathons when I was running them.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

which you seem to think is a negative. And I'm like, that's amazing.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I didn't think it was a negative. It was a really, it was amazing for me to see like, oh, that's how it looks for me to run a race versus how it looks for an Olympian to run the race. That's that put it into perspective better than just watching the speed at which they went by the amount of time it took for her to finish versus when I saw the group with, uh, with Hassan and, and the, and the Kenyans and the other Ethiopian woman, right. Go by that amount of time for me that really put it in perspective sitting and waiting for her.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

So thinking about the resilience, the grit, the super human ness, all of these things, which obviously relate to some of the things that we have to dig deep and find as expats or as entrepreneurs or as moms, what do you, what did you take from this in terms of like your life? I

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

It was really, I think humbling is probably the word I'm looking for. Um, it really hit home for me that even like the most talented elite level athletes in the world have those points where they are suffering and struggling. And at the end of the day, even though They can run twice as fast as I can, and there's, you know, that glory and that prestige and like the, you know, all that other stuff, right? On the course, they still have the same lived experience that the rest of us do. where they have those moments where their life is hell. And you're probably wondering, what am I doing here? Why did I say yes to this? Right? but but again, they're also experienced athletes, and so they know that is temporary. You just have to keep going. And, you know, in both instances with, with the gentleman from Mongolia who finished with, uh, Lamo, the, the Bhutan woman who finished and with Kipchoge who dropped out, right? All of those, they were different outcomes, but each one of them showed a level of bravery and resilience and Just like self honor that I really found absolutely beautiful.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I love that you're seeing it in both. Well, I, I mean, in some ways you could see all of them as a lens of failure, right? So it's, how do we see this moment? Cause being at the back of the pack is obviously not what somebody aspires to dropping out is not what somebody aspires to. And yet you're seeing them as a lens of accomplishment is actually what I'm hearing from you. Like, Failure isn't just failure. There's more to it. Is that fair?

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So you, you could look at each of them as failing, right? I came in last place, but, um, but at the same time, each of those athletes come representing their country. And for them, it's like, they're carrying that if I was in their shoes, I would be thinking about that and that would be what would carry me through, right? And there's something, you know, there's something gorgeous about that. There's something really beautiful about making the commitment to, to something that you care so deeply about or to those who mean so much to you that you put your temp and you know, all of these athletes know that the suffering is temporary. It's temporary. Right. And they, they were willing to not let that suffering derail them from the commitment that they've made to themselves in this race as an Olympian for their country. And then you have Kip, Kipchoge, right? Which again, and I apologize, I don't even know how to say his name and I apologize for that. Um, my, my gross ignorance and not doing my homework in advance, but here's an elite level athlete who has longevity in the field. He's a multi gold Olympian in the marathon. He's been there. He's done that. He probably knew going into this Olympics that it was going to be his last race and he was not willing to sacrifice his body for the finish.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Cause that's something you and I talked about with relation to what was her name? Carrie strung

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Right. Carrie Strug.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

plug. Yeah. The, because there is this balance of how, how much do you allow grit to keep you moving forward? You've made a commitment. Your why is bigger than the pain. That's amazing and awesome. And also. There is a point at which you are being self destructive when you stick to something that you've committed to. Um, you know, leave, leave in the peace corps was really hard for me. Cause I felt like I was failing on something I had committed to, but to have stayed was self destructive. And that's a really, it's a hard moment for the person going through it. And I think it's, it's something we can, we, we have no business judging on other people's behalf. Yeah. You know, like honestly it's, it should feel, it should be

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

what?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

well. I'm saying that if somebody is brave enough to quit

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

social media then if not to judge other people in their actions? I don't under, I can you,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

and

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

what's happening?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

dear listeners, that was sarcasm. It is, it's hard to quit and it's hard to stay. I mean, you think about our Mongolian who did finish, he actually, you know, on paper, succeeded more than the person who was slated to win the whole dang thing. And the other thing I want to point out too, is you talked about how the pain will pass. But we also talked about, we were talking about some of the Olympians from our childhood and we were going, you know, whatever happened to that person because the glory passes too. So how much are you going to sacrifice your entire future? Like doing gymnastics on a broken ankle or whatever happened versus seeing through a commitment? And a commitment to yourself. It like there's, there's so much to unpack when you do something hard and there's no one right outcome

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Yeah. Yes. Every moment is different. Every circumstance is different. And it really is so much more deeply nuanced than any of us as spectators can understand.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

as the media wishes to put headlines together, my

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And Kip, uh, the gentleman I'm referring to whose name I can't pronounce, when he, when he called it quits, you know, he walked the course for a little bit and people were, people started walking with him. Uh, and, or maybe he was in the place where he was deciding whether or not he was going to quit. But, but when he, at the finish line, he didn't have any, he didn't have a shirt. He didn't have any shoes. Or anything, and he had given his shirt, his shoes and his race bib to, to those who were walking with him along the course before he finally pulled out. Right. And, and there's anybody who's interested, you can, you can look this up online, but Cause he was talking with reporters about, effectively the, what I took away from it is like, you know, this isn't about me. This is, this is not, you know, kind of, I got the sense of I've been here, I've done this. I'm done. It's not really about me and how well I did. It's about all the support that I've had and, and I, I am. I am moving on, I'm evolving, we evolve, and it's time for me to evolve to other things. And it was just, it's just such a wonderfully mature, grounded perspective, which is very difficult in that field to have because you have so many people telling you. One, you're so great. And two, this is everything.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

right. Which, very few things in life, in fact, are everything. No matter how big we think the moment is, it's one moment out of an entire lifetime.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Right. Right. Yeah. You and I are doing some crazy ass stuff just being in a foreign country, right? Like this is, and we've said this several times, like this is the dream. And, hopefully, we are also only halfway through the dream that is our life, right? This whole thing, and who knows what is yet to come that could make this just look like a moment.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

And it is remarkable. My, my mother and stepfather spent three years living on a sailboat in the South Pacific Ocean. That's a crazy, huge adventure, especially because my mother hates water. And

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Oh my god.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I never actually, I don't think either of them had sailed the open ocean. The whole thing was bananas.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

That sounds like, uh, a disaster movie in the making.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Uh, there are, there are boats that are swallowed up by the ocean. Yes. Uh, luckily, obviously they came through unscathed, but they did have friends that disappeared into the ocean. I mean, it's not a small undertaking,

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

What?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

but now, you know, my mother's about to celebrate her 70th birthday. She was about 30 ish, I guess when she did that adventure and this massive, huge thing is now a footnote in her

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Right.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

otherwise also amazing life. It's a, it is remarkable. And it's, I think it's an important thing to remember too, because this is something that I have talked with you about how I'm trying to make sure I don't miss what we're doing. I'm so grateful for this podcast because it's a record of what we're doing and I'm having some trouble recording what's happening because it's all happening and it would be so easy to have it pass by and then 40 years from now, looking back on it as my mother is now go, Oh yeah, I did live in, I did live in France. I wish I had some of those postcards or, or something. It's. It seems so big in the moment, but it's just a moment and it can slip away. I, it blows my mind that I'm six months into this two year adventure already. That is a quarter of this journey.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

You're at the 14 kilometer

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

That's really weird. And it's starting to get hard, too, just like it was for them at the 14 kilometer mark.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Right.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

It starts getting real when you're like, Oh, I'm at the Olympics. Oh, I'm at the Olympics. Yeah,

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

and this is true, you know, whether or not you move to another country, there, you know, anybody who's raised a child knows this, knows this as well. There are so many tiny moments and you think you're never going to forget them, but you do. And it isn't, you know, now that we have cell phones. And my husband, he, you know, especially when my son was really, really young, but he's still pretty good at it. Takes pictures of everything all the time. So we have this really good record of our life for the last almost 11 years now, because I call him Papa Rotsi because he just, he's always taking pictures. And so there are many moments that we have forgotten about that we remember because there's photodocumentation of it. And, you know, I have purchased a scrapbook actually for this whole moment of our lives and recording it, the trips that we're taking. And I even saved little bits of things to put in. In the scrapbook, but I haven't put anything in the scrapbook because my brain is full and I'm tired and I don't want to, and then it doesn't happen. And I got these scraps and I have an empty book and I was, and I'm just like, no, and then after a certain point in time, right, I'm like, well, what did we even do when we were in Avignon with. Rebecca and Damian. I don't remember.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I identify with that so strongly. But you, when you were visiting, you showed me your bullet journal. And that was mind opening for me because the bullet journal takes so many of the things that I've done independently in past of having a to do list, having that amazing feeling of checking things off of a to do list. Um, which also is its own record of, no, you don't just have things to do. You've actually accomplished things. I, I need that. And then you also do basically scrapbook in it. And it is a beautiful record. So you have that, even if you're not doing a proper quote scrapbook, I think you've got this amazing document to go back to.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Sort of. The thing that ends up happening when I'm on vacation is I don't open up my bullet journal, and then nothing gets put in there.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Oh, so it's only your productive time.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

well, the entire five weeks that I was in the States, I was running from one thing to another thing to another thing, and then. Plopping down in bed, exhausted in the evening and not recording anything that had happened during the day. And so it's all, it's empty. I think I wrote my sister's wedding day in there. That was it. So I don't have, I don't have any record now because there was this string cheese thing that I was into while I was in the States and it became a running joke. I was posting every day. How much, how many sticks of string cheese I consumed as well as You know, a couple of other things that happened. So I do have a very, very sparse record of what happened each day. I was in the United States and, and some, quite a bit of vague booking about it as well, which I, you know, I'm not going to remember so that I could have my string cheese total, which was 136 for those of you who are interested in knowing that tidbit of trivia, but there's nothing in my bullet journal and there's no visual reminders. So it's, you know, it's something that I'm still trying to fully integrate and I don't know how best to do it. Uh, because it's just really hard to tie me down and get me in the mode to record things when I'm in the middle of a vacation.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

And this is actually, I'm just, I love that this organically came up because it's one of the things I wanted to share with our listeners. If you're going to start any big adventure, find a way if you can to record it. So what I'm about to try is, um, either weekly or monthly letters to my mom. Basically, it's going to be a bullet journal where I'm going to like throw in my to do list. This was her idea. Cause we were talking about it yesterday. And then, you know, some random postcard I find, and then a little list of what happened that week or an argument I had with Damien or whatever. And then she said, because the problem I'm having is I need to live a light lifestyle here. The idea of moving stuff is. torture. And we already have all of Damien's court on blue kitchen stuff that he's added to our life that we have to move in two weeks. So that was a real big obstacle for me. How do I collect the memories? without collecting weight that I then have to move around. So she said, well, just mail it to me. And I was like, that's amazing. So I haven't started it because this is yesterday's conversation, but yet to our listeners, whether you start a podcast with a friend going through a similar adventure, you write letters to somebody just to kind of document what you're doing, or you throw just random kind of paraphernalia into a box. Like we did when we were in high school and you're like, Oh, look, my prom pin or whatever. I don't know. It, it will mean something to you later, even if it's not perfect, whatever perfect was in your head about scrapbooking or whatever.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

my, my attitude and you know, it's probably why I'm kind of like hoarder light is that I can always throw it away, but I can't get back what I've thrown away.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Oh, that's really interesting. Cause I'm like, if I hold onto it, I will never throw it away. I

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Oh,

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

mean, it's all psychology. All of this is just the psychology of our own brain and how our parents lived, what they held onto our grandparents, you know, and there's no right answer. At all. I

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

right.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

mean, honestly, all those pictures in a phone can be plenty of a record. There doesn't have to be any organization or anything. I just know that. And this comes from talking with my mom about it. She didn't do a lot of record keeping about her trip to the South Pacific. She wrote us a lot of letters. This was back in the day when there was no email, GPS. She would get to a place where she could send letters from an Island about once a month. So she would write regularly, but then she would send them in a bundle. We also wrote her. So mail would be waiting in post restaurant or various mail depots. It was amazing that we even, I know the fact that this worked is crazy. Um, they would call me, I think by ham radio. I don't know. It was crazy, but. We, my, myself, my aunt, couple of others kept her letters. Cause I mean, amazing adventures. And she didn't know we were doing that. And when she came back, we just, you know, would you like these letters and they are her record and she's so grateful for them because otherwise. So many details of this crazy thing. I mean, when she went back in the eighties, they, there were islands they went to that had never seen a white person on their soil. That's how, that's how tiny the islands were that they were going to. Not that they didn't know about white people, but they've been saved from people actually showing up. It's just astonishing. And if, and that's momentous and it can still slip away from you. So I'm being, it makes me hyper aware of, even though everything seems big and unforgettable right now, it's remarkably forgettable, hopefully in the duration of a lifetime.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

exactly. Exactly. Hopefully.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

So you're back in Spain, what are you taking forward from your, I've been to the Olympics

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I have a feeling, and it's all kind of still settling into my bones, but I have a feeling that what I witnessed last weekend is going to show up in my running somehow. know how, I don't know what it means precisely or how it's going to, but I, I just have a feeling that whatever I've witnessed and, and, And whatever I'm taking away from what I've witnessed is going to have an impact in my running, which has been, you know, my running has been a struggle since I've been here in Spain. So I think it was probably really good for me to go, but I don't yet know precisely how.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Well, we'll all be staying tuned to find out.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I don't think it'll be very glamorous, but

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I mean, running isn't. Okay, so I would like to just, I didn't want to ruin the moment earlier, but I do have to call out. So he gives away his bib and his shirt and his shoes, and that's just a beautiful Olympic moment. And also, eww! Can we just talk about how sweaty those shoes must have been? Ew!

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I'm sure you could have rung them out. I know the shirt you could have, you could have rung out my shirt with just me standing there. It was so hot and humid.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

I'm very happy for the superfan that took them home, and I'm also happy that it wasn't me.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

I'm sure you would have been like, no thanks, no thanks.

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Somebody else really wants that more than I do. You should give it to them. Well, on that disgusting note

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

oh, with, with sweaty, with sweaty bibs on everybody's mind now, how would you like to end our episode?

rebecca_1_08-13-2024_134443:

Oh, let's, I don't know. Let's go back to the point. Hard things stretch us, and it doesn't always mean you're going to win the gold, but just because you don't win the gold doesn't mean you didn't win something else. Really important that you needed.

aimee_1_08-13-2024_044444:

Yeah. I like that. Beautiful. Well, until next time, my dear, hasta pronto.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!