Bonjhola

EP 46 - Rebecca Remembers that You only Get Yeses When You Take the Leap and Ask at Her First French Tradeshow

• Rebecca West

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Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Amy and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Amy to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Bonjoula, Rebecca.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Fun Jola, Amy.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

You have been, um, doing a lot this month. You've been hosting people, you went to that

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Trade show.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

show, and I'm really curious about what like, what is it like being an expat at a trade show? Because I, you know, I went to a conference in London, but it was all in English. And so for me, it was was very, a very easy experience and very similar to what I would have experienced in the States. But I would love to hear what your experience was like.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

That's it. That actually brought up all kinds of memories from only a week ago. That seems like a million years ago. Um, so yeah, great points already, Amy. So I went to the Maison Abjet show and it stands for house and object or home and object in French. Um, and I went because as many people know, I'm an interior designer and mostly I'm just really curious about. My industry here in Europe and specifically in France, it's supposed to be, you know, the center of fashion and I also really wanted to connect with my community here. And I've been working on that ever since I moved here. So I went with all those things in mind and also the idea that I might lead a tour next year. So all of that was in my head. And the language thing is really, really interesting because the guidebook that they hand out, um, It's completely in English.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh,

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

I know. And as an English speaker, it didn't even, I didn't even realize that it was until the show is actually over and I'm looking at it. And this happens when I go to restaurants. I don't know if that happens to you too, where sometimes I'll be handed an English restaurant or menu. And sometimes my brain doesn't realize. Sometimes my brain tries to read English as if it's French, and I can't, and I'm like, what am I looking at? Like, my, my brain takes a second to catch up. So that was one language moment of it. Then I took a sustainability tour, like going to, you a guided tour to go see the booths that were about sustainability or reuse. That was completely in French and, uh, was a two hour tour. So that very much taxed my brain trying to listen. Um, so from a language perspective, it was a really interesting mix of English is clearly the international language at this time in our existence. And it was definitely French. in France. It was very, very strange. I expected it to be more about home and I would say it was more about object. So it was very interesting because it was like getting to peek behind the scenes at the vendors that stock all the cool stores that we go to.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

oh my gosh. That would be dangerous.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

It was really fun, like, the most adorable notebooks, and souvenir things, and bits of clothing, and accessories, jewelry, so, home fragrances, oh my gosh, you had, I had, no concept of how many makers there were of diffusers. It was an entire hall of diffuser companies.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

What? Mm

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And so of course there's this combination of really cool peek behind the curtain. And also the thing that happens to me when I go to these kinds of things a lot, which is number one, there's too much money in the world and it's not spread out enough.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

hmm.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And the kind of set the sister to that is we're making too much stuff,

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Yeah. Mm

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

you know, because I just looked at that, these halls, there were seven different halls. Basically of samples of things that could be sold, and they were on repeat, repeat, repeat. So it was really fun. It was not at all what I expected from an interior design point of view. My understanding is they sometimes or used to have more furnishings.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

hmm.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Um, I also understand that the show this year was quite quiet compared to past years. and I have no idea why. And they also have it in January, so it happens every January and September. So I do plan to go in January because my understanding is it's better. I'm putting that in quotes because I have no idea what that means. so yeah, so this was my first foray and to top it all off, I, like I said, I want to lead a tour there. And to go with my other podcast that we keep alluding to someday really starting, I did these interviews. At the home share, I actually hired a videographer to follow me around and do these little mini interviews of the vendors asking what interior, what they wish interior designers need to know. And that is what I really want to tell you about Amy, because I did a bunch of interviews that are not interesting right now, because they're very industry specific, but there was this guy and his name is, and I want to make sure I get this right. Paul de Livron, he is French and the first day I was there, I saw him and I couldn't not see him because he's in a wheelchair and it's the, it was the most beautiful wheelchair I've ever seen. It was like carved, shaped, organic wood, beautiful woodworking, the kind of woodworking like if you ever, if anybody's ever gone into a proper woodworking like furniture showroom, you just want to pet the wood. It's so beautiful. It was like that. It's so beautiful. I didn't give it a second thought because I just assumed he was attending the show come to find out he was showing off the wheelchairs that he's created. He's only created two or three so far. So it's just like a debut of this really cool product. So I got up my courage and I said, could I interview you? Just, I wasn't a planned one. I hadn't had no preamble. I didn't know much about him. I just quickly looked him up on Instagram and it turns out that he, so he was in an accident about eight years ago. He was hiking and he fell off a cliff and he broke his back. So now he's in a wheelchair and he decided, I don't, I don't know his entire story. And so there's a lot more we get to unpack someday, which is so exciting to me, but he had seen people in wheelchairs, no, people sitting beggars. Sitting on the ground or on a skateboard, and he that he would really like to be able to make a wheelchair that other people could craft for themselves.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

So, and that really was surprising to me because I'm at this show that's all about luxury and kind of unattainable things that are craft made. And so for him to be making this beautiful thing that really anybody with plywood and a jigsaw or wood and a jigsaw to make this plywood,, form could do, I mean, I was like, I was already in, and then the story keeps getting better because this guy has the courage to ask for things he wants, which a lot of us want things that we don't have the courage to ask. So he decides that he wants the Pope to be the godfather of his wheelchairs because he had seen the Pope in a wheelchair in some situation. So it turns out that well, so he started talking to the nuns, I guess, in his parish, you know, and one thing led to another. And he realized that you can take these audiences with the Pope, Damien and I have done that on Wednesdays, I think it is every week, but if, but he sets aside space for people who are disabled, for example, in wheelchairs, and afterwards he comes up to them. To say hello.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Nice.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

So Paul created a prototype of his wheelchair and took the opportunity to say, Hi, I would like to make this for you. And the Pope was very gracious about it. And the Pope has since gotten his. wheelchair. Now in this wheelchair, my understanding is that he made it from wood that was both Ukrainian and Russian oak. It's a beautiful symbolism, but he wanted something French too. And so he decides that he wants to get a piece of wood From Notre Dame from after the fire.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Right. Oh

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And again, he just starts talking to people and ultimately connects with the guy who used to be in charge of the entire French military, I guess. And his description of him in my interview was hilarious. He's like, he, he had no sense of humor. He was a very strange man and now he's dead. It's literally how it came out. I didn't even know how to respond.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

His most remarkable characteristic is that he is now dead.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And, you know, it was so kind of macabre. And when you're talking to somebody who has had such profound traumatic life experience where he could be dead now, he's in a wheelchair. He's making the most of this life. Your brain just goes, what am I? Is this funny? I don't know. I don't know. And on top of that, we have the language barrier. He is speaking incredibly good English. But does he do humor in English? I sure as heck can't do humor in French, right? So he says that to me. Turns out, not only is all that true, he, the guy died from the same accident that put Paul in a wheelchair.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

So he had been hiking and he fell off a cliff.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Now that's what Paul told me. But before that happened, he did approve Paul getting some wood from Notre Dame. So that was also embedded in this wheelchair. So super cool. But then it turns out he doesn't know the end of the story. So he went and talked to like 200 school children and they ask, you know, what happened? Does the Pope like his wheelchair? And he goes, here's the problem. I don't know. I don't know the end of the story. So he said some of the kids were like, well, we should write them and ask. And so Paul's whole thing is in this interview is like, so if y'all want to know the end of the story,

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Right through hope and ask.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

write to the Pope and ask. And it was just the most profound adventure I went on doing this interview. And my biggest takeaway was that reminder of When you want something, it doesn't matter how ridiculous it is. The only sure way of getting a no is not to ask.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Right. Right.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And so he is now my hero.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

That's amazing. I love that story. And it's true. It's true. Like the first time I became a sponsored athlete, it was because I was just like, Sure. Let's just ask. I mean, you grow up seeing gymnasts on Wheaties boxes and you think like the companies reach out to you when you're good enough. But now with particularly with brand ambassador influencers on Instagram, practically anyone can get discounts or product or what have you simply by asking. It's kind of crazy.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

It is. And it's also kind of crazy how many opportunities must pass us by on a daily basis because we don't, You know, the other side of that, not the other side of it, another angle on that is my mother. She's an artist. She's a fine artist. If anybody wants to go see her artwork, it's TerryRafferty. com. She does these very cool narrative still lifes. They're charming stories with figurines. And when she was relatively new as an artist, she entered into a contest. And one best in show, which is the highest award from oil painters of America, which is a very big deal, the highest award there is. And she was, like I said, she was very new and we both. I learned another important lesson, the same lesson, which is you've got to show up. The only way you will win is by entering to win.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Right.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And having now been a judge for within the interior design industry, I also know that it is amazing how far you can go. Few entries there are sometimes to these kinds of contests. So it's not just about asking. It's also about showing up, putting your name in the hat, offering to be a speaker somewhere. You never know what's going to lead. And it might not lead to that thing, or it might lead to you winning the best award possible when you're new in your art career.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Life is really full of surprises in that way. actually on a similar vein, there was, so we went to, you know, I took my son to the Girona versus Barcelona. Football game, uh, this weekend and a couple of months ago he had told me, gosh, mom, I really want to go to more, I want to go to more Girona games. I really like this. And, you know, I've looked at how do you buy tickets? How do you become, how do you get season passes in the websites in Catalan? And it's a website that was created here in Spain. And so navigating it is, it is impossible. There's, I don't see any place to buy tickets. I don't see any place to become a member. Um, I was given a PDF download that explained it, but I couldn't translate the document because it was a PDF on my phone and there were no links embedded in the PDF for me to actually Find all this out. So it's just been an utter mess. And I'm like, well, you know, buddy, I'll, I'll do the best I can, but the Girona versus Barcelona game was the one he wanted to go to the most. And, you know, both the Girona football club and the Barcelona football club are here in Catalonia. And so it's almost like brothers. Sparring to have those two teams go at it because Barcelona is a world renowned team. They have, I found out yesterday their goalie is like the number three goalie in the entire world and they have, you know, that young kid from Catalonia who played for the Spanish Olympic team. He was like 17 and one of the best players in the country. and good enough, you know, to represent Spain at the Olympics. So the massive talent on the Barcelona team. And then you have Girona and Girona is our little home team that just made Premier League in 2017 for the very first time.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Ah.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

This year is only their third year as a Premier League. And so we're like the up and coming underdogs who last year shocked everybody by advancing to, I think, second or third place nationally. We did crazy well and beat Barcelona last year, which nobody saw coming. Nobody was expecting. So this game is like. You know, the game and, um, my son's best friend had his birthday party a couple weeks ago and one of the moms who was invited, say, said, Hey, I got, you know, this child, a ticket to go to the Barca versus Gerona game. we're season holders that we got the ticket at a discounted price. Any parents want to chip in to help us pay for this? And I was like, yes, absolutely. And are there any tickets left for this game? So it turned out that through this. Expat mom who had season tickets. Not only were there tickets left for this game three weeks beforehand, but we were able to get two seats right next to them.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Perfect.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

It was crazy, amazing. And the tickets were expensive. They were definitely a lot more expensive than last year. But when we got there yesterday, the stadium was totally full. It was a very high energy game because a lot of people took the train up from Barcelona to attend, right? So there was a, you know, a massive group of Barcelona fans on, you know, one end of the stadium and then peppered throughout. And then there was, you know, the, the folks from Girona and there were security guards all around to make sure that things didn't get too crazy at the game. So, um, We lost terribly,

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Oh, I was wondering, okay.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

a Barcelona boys are incredibly fast. They are so freaking fast. And it really, I mean, this is not, it looks like, you know, watching the game. It looked like watching a team who was on. Stimulants or something play against a team who is not on stimulants like these guys were so fast. Their footwork was incredible and we did as well as we could to defend. but ended up losing, um, one to four. So

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Still, they got a goal. I mean, that's

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

I know, I know after, after halftime, it was like, okay, let's just, let's just see if we can get a goal.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Plus, there's something really incredible about putting yourself in the room with people who are better than you. It challenges you and it stretches you. Even if you don't win, you win something. You won knowledge you wouldn't have had otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know what it reminds me of is when you were here for the marathon and the people that everybody thought would absolutely win, totally didn't, didn't the first, like the primary guy, he didn't even finish.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

no, no. Yeah. The expected winner of the men's race dropped out. Yeah.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

So again, it's these, these wonderful reminders that, you know, just because somebody way better than you is showing up and is likely to win like Barcelona. Yeah.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Yes.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

It doesn't mean they will win, like the marathon, and the only way of losing in life is not to show up and not to ask.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

So true. So true. Another thing your story reminded me of was, um, translating humor, because you were like, is this guy making a joke and it's not translating well? What's going on? One of my milestones this past week is successfully making a joke in Spanish

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Oh, that's goals!

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

and having people laugh. I'm so excited.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Can you, can you tell us a little bit, it's hard to explain a joke.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

It is hard to explain a joke, but this one actually translates really well in both languages. So, um, at least North Americans will totally get it. So I was in my, I was in my, uh, small group training class. I do the kind of like functional movement training twice a week and it's all in Catalon. It's a very, it's a very small local thing. Um, but the, you know, You know, they'll, the, but the trainer Powell will speak to me in Spanish. He doesn't know English very well. So this is one of those places in town where I feel like people have no idea who I am because I'm so mute and I'm just, you know, following the motions and doing the best I can. And so. so. you know, I had observed this vocabulary word a couple weeks ago, and then, you know, this time it came up again. And so I asked, at the end of the class, we kind of lay out on foam rollers to open up the chest and relax. And um, you know, Pao had directed us to the foam rollers and he called them churros. And what's that? Yes. And I, the first time I wasn't sure that I understood. What he was saying, and this time I was like, yeah, I think he did call them churros or something very similar to churros. So after class, I, I walked up to Powell and I said, you know, um, say"Se llaman churros?". And I was pointing at the foam rollers, which means, you know, are those called churros? and and he said, see, see churros or something like, um, Something that sounded like, like foam, you know, in, and I, I didn't remember that because I was like, okay, I'm right. It's churros. And I said, the pal don't they start me chocolate. A key in a, you know, necessity Thomas chocolate, a comic, comics churros. Because here in Spain, when they have churros, they serve it with a cup of melted, effectively what feels like a melted chocolate bar in a little espresso cup. And it's churros with chocolate. And he laughed and some of the other students laughed, like everyone got it. It was awesome. And his response was gold. He's like, no, no, no, That is a Madrid thing. Here in Catalonia, it's bread with tomato, and he's, he's right. He's right. It's, it's, uh, you know, it's, it's, um, which is, and I'm probably butchering my cuddle on there, but it's bread with tomato. And that's the, you know, the bread, if you've ever been to Spain, sometimes you'll see for breakfast or on an appetizer menu will be bread with olive oil and then tomato and garlic and the garlic is rubbed on and the, and you know, Spaniards will fight to the death over the order of which this goes. You know, the olive oil, the tomato, the garlic, the bread, you don't put crushed garlic, it's rubbed, it's where they become very French. Is in these, these little culinary bits. So that was just, uh, A major win for me this week and for this past week, which I'm still super pumped about. And then totally forgot until you mentioned the joke.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

So, for anybody who is not lucky enough to know what a choro is, um, the way I know them is from, what is it? Pier? What's that pier in San Francisco? 51 or something like that. We used to get them on the pier. They were ours were about 12 inches long and the outside that kind of squeezed through a Piping tip so they're kind of star shaped ish The outside is crunchy the inside is doughy and they were covered in cinnamon and sugar and there was definitely no chocolate served with it I actually do churro in Europe that I like because I have a very specific idea of what they are supposed to be like and that chocolate that thick Chocolate is gross to me. And I know I am not normal like that.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

So what you had was a traditional Mexican churro, and that's what we know in North America, just like in North America or Chata is a. Rice beverage, a beverage made with rice, both of those, I, for sure the horchata, but probably the churro as well come over originally from Spain and in Spain, a churro is not rolled in cinnamon and sugar. I imagine this may be because it precedes cinnamon being a part of the culinary culinary fabric here in Spain. Um, so it's, it's that same dough. It isn't in a 12 foot long straight tube. They're shorter, you know, about a little bit longer than a finger, perhaps. Sometimes they will cross them in a, in a shape that looks a little bit like, um, you know, whatever charity ribbon of your choice. And then you have the option to dip that in chocolate. It is very lightly sweetened on its own, but very unremarkable. It's really the chocolate and the chocolate is. By and large, a good quality chocolate, unless you're getting it at a carnival or something like that. So it totally works, the Spanish version. And Spanish horchata, the original horchata actually came up into Spain through the Moors. So it originally came from Africa and it is not in Spain. It is not made with rice at all. It is made with tiger nuts, which are derived from Africa. It is a very, very different drink. Then Mexican horchata, and it's okay, but I don't really like it that much because it's a little sour from the tiger nuts. And so when I first tried it, it was like, Oh, here's a milky beverage. That's gone bad. But when we were in Valencia, uh, we had, uh, we did have horchata at a fresh horchateria and shusheria as well, or not shusheria, excuse me. A churro place and an horchata place. And they made both from scratch. That horchata was good if you are ever in Spain, never, ever, ever, ever try it. If you ever purchase horchata in a bottle that is pre made, only drink it from a place that is using, that has like bags of tiger nuts in the shop that is making it fresh. Otherwise it will taste like sour milk. It's really overly sweet and sour. Well, it's atrocious.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And it still doesn't taste like the horchata from Mexico, but it will be a good drink

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

will be, it will be a decent drink. If you are from North America, do not think of it as horchata. Horchata. You will be, you'll, you'll probably be disappointed. Just like anybody who transitions to gluten-free after eating fresh pasta is like, why am I alive? This sucks

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Did I send you on Instagram? There's a wonderful reel about, um, the interpretation of American restaurants in Europe.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh my God. No, but I must see it.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

I will find it. Let me describe this. It is very funny because basically it's just this melange of, um, Random North American facts, and I can't remember exactly what this reel said, but imagine it was sort of like, you know, California, Mississippi barbecue, veganism. Like, it's just something ridiculous. And the reason I'm thinking about it is because you mentioned Mexican food, and I actually had a really good quesadilla the other day for the first time being here in France, and it was at a restaurant called Indiana. It, the, the logo for Indiana, it looks just like the old Redskins logo with the, the Sioux Indian kind of headdress situation.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh my God. That's hilarious.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And the food inside was basically Mexican ish, you know? So we had Indiana, the Sioux Indians, and basically Mexican food. And it was very confusing.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Unless you're a European who's never been to the States and then it probably makes perfect sense.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Exactly. Yeah. And actually that's what made the reel really funny is the French waiter, you know, actor in the reel was something like, Oh, you might not be from that part of America. You might not know about the, you know, the Canadian barbecue or whatever it was. It was just so ridiculous. It was fantastic, but I have very much found it to be true. And, and I, and maybe this is just. Well, let me say that differently. I'm guessing this is how every Indian and Chinese and every other ethnicity Person coming to America feels about our version of their restaurants as well Because you know I'm craving Indian food, but what I mean by that is the Indian food I got in Seattle all of those years.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Right. Exactly. Exactly.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

It's such a cultural roller coaster doing this stuff. And, and I don't know how you feel, but I catch myself a lot of times Trying to be careful. Like, I don't want to offend people, but I also want to be honest with my ignorance. And sometimes the things that come out of my mouth and I'm just like, Oh, cringe, but I didn't mean it cringe. It's awkward sometimes.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

I don't have a lot of anticipatory worry about that. And I also don't carry white woman guilt about being afraid I'm going to offend everybody around me and, you know, taking extra care to make sure everybody around me is okay. Um, For better or worse, I just, I don't, I don't adopt it, but I do have moments where I say something really stupid and I'm like, that's not how you want to show up. Don't do that again.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

For me, especially when it comes to geography. Oh, goodness, it continues to be true. I discovered a whole new country in Africa the other day. That was exciting. Yeah. It's, it's embarrassing, but I, I guess I just have to give myself credit for the fact that at least I'm trying and at least I'm learning and at least I am asking the questions. But man, you feel like an idiot so many days.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

true. Yeah, I would say most of my, most of my guilt and shame comes around classism more than race or American ignorance. I kind of lead in some, in some ways I'll lead with the American ignorance. I'll be like, you know, I'm just from the, I'm from the United States. I don't know shit. I'm sorry. Um, but it's, you know, if I say something that. Is, you know, for instance, when I first moved here, I was very excited about Corten glaze because it was, it's a huge department store in Spain. It has a

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Oh yeah. You were telling us about it last episode.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Yeah. it has all the import foods, right. It also has, yeah, they have everything. I was super excited about it. And then I had said something to a local about how. You know, at first I thought Girona was going to be too small for us, but then I saw they had a Corte Inglés and that was like, oh, great. This, this will be fine. I'll be fine here. And as soon as I said that, I was like, that was not what, no, that's not okay. Don't say, don't do, don't make that mistake again, because Corte Inglés. Also has like super ridiculous designer brand stuff at outrageous prices. And their grocery store is full of import goods that a lot of expats will like go to. And that wasn't how I wanted to show up. Right. Because what I think when I was like, Oh my gosh, there's a corte ingles. And what a Catalan might think when I say, Oh my gosh, there's a corte is good enough for me. Right? Like, Oh God, what have I said? So that, you know, that sort of thing is where, is where I feel that reticence and that desire to kind of hide and not be authentic

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Yeah, I get that completely. Um, but there's also something you said for knowing where you can go comfort shop. It is a, it is a nice thing to have that opportunity.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

for sure. For sure. Yeah. When we, when we lived in Mexico, um, after a couple of months, we took it, where were we, we ended up in, it must have been Leon or, Maybe it was Guadalajara. No, when we end up in Mexico City, after being in Mexico for several months, and I found a Walmart, it was the only time in my life I've ever been excited to go to a Walmart. They had Bob's Organic Oats. I was so thrilled. Yeah.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

That happens for Damien and I on some of our trips. Like at home, we really don't eat fast food. We're not like, Every day at Starbucks, except for when it became my work from home place. But that was a different reason. But when we're traveling, there are days when you're so tired that you're like a whopper is, needs to get into my face. It has nothing to do with the whopper per se, but it's that familiarity where you're like, I need something, I need a soft landing. Right now. And that's where it comes up for us for sure.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Yeah. Living in a perpetual state of foreignness is exhausting.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

It really is. And the thing that I cannot get my head around. And I think it's a combination of being both an American and a business person and entrepreneur, the cultural difference between how they see work and how I see work. I think I've mentioned that I keep trying to rent this mailbox. so I can get a steady mailbox address. I have followed up. So story was very briefly, I went to the mailbox place, I said, I'd like to rent a mailbox. They said, email this address, they'll get back to you by noon. I emailed them only to have them tell me the person who does this is out until September. Okay, cool. So I, I did take the initiative to email them when September came. I have now emailed them three times and nobody has written me back. It's the middle of September.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Yeah.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And I just, I'm like, is this French? Is this business going out of business? Is this just the way they see the world? I mean, I don't understand concept. Of somebody putting money down on the table in front of you and saying, here, would you like this money for this service? You say you provide

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Mm hmm.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

and then having them just not answer you. And it's on my mind right now. Because on 1 of the Facebook groups. I'm on there's somebody who is doing some sort of a blog or something on. Email communication for expats with and so they were asking for like things that come up that are confusing and one that comes up Apparently is that when the French say like mecca deep Russian of Prussian mecca D I can never remember which way means what but it's next Wednesday Apparently they frequently say that like on Monday for this Wednesday,

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

is yeah, very confusing

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

So next Wednesday means two days from Monday, not,

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

The next Wednesday that is coming is in two days, but not always. Cause apparently according to this thread, it confuses the French as well. So my takeaway is use dates, right?

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

it's like when we say bi weekly, does that mean, or bi monthly, does that mean twice?

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

monthly by which ones? Yeah, exactly. Um, so, you know, even the French are confused about business communication. I don't know. But man, it is so daily confusing to be an expat and to know, is it me? Is it them? Is it just this one business? What's going on.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

well, I can answer a couple of those questions. Oddly enough,

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Okay.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

just that business and it's not just France because what you describe has been my experience with Wells Fargo for three and a half months. Trying to reach them

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And again, big name, right?

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

no answer, no response, their relationship manager, neither cares about relationships, nor is adequate at managing anything. And so now there will be a divestment of multiple accounts from Wells Fargo because they don't care about their customers.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

And what is at the root of that? Because obviously, Wells Fargo in the United States, like them or don't like them, you're going to get an answer if you're talking about money, they don't care about

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

no, no, No. I've been evident, not anymore because now they're too big to fail because they've been bailed out by the government and they only care about their stockholders. Now they really genuinely do not care about their customers, no matter. And, and I'm not saying this cause this is not me, but. But people I have talked to regarding Wells Fargo, people with large businesses, they still treat them that way.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Yeah,

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

So it isn't, it's about, it's about Wells Fargo being now way too big a publicly traded company that like the airline industry has been bailed out by the government. And so, you know, customer, the customer is nothing

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

that's, yeah, that's not a cultural thing. That's a corporate world versus the rest of us

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

that is unrestrained capitalism supported by big government thing,

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

So actually taking us all the way back to the intro story about Paul and the wheelchair and just asking for what you want, there is this question that remains of how long do you chase somebody? You know, and when do you, when does it look desperate or when are you hurting yourself because they're not going to be a good service provider, even if you can wrangle them to answer you back. And I don't have a clear answer that for that yet. And I, and that was a big part of the thread too, was yeah. How long do you chase somebody for an answer? Is it culturally normal to need to reach out to a plumber Two or three times to get service. Or is it a sign that you're not going to get good service or is it a sign that that's just how it works and you're still not, I don't know, I don't

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

There are so many things with other cultures that we just have to learn the hard way.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

know. Well, we are looking at an apartment today that we may stay in if we like it for. Eight months

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Oh, gosh, that would be so nice.

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

so I may solve my mailbox issue through other means because this particular avenue is clearly not working. So stay tuned,

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Excellent. Well, on that note, how shall we end this episode?

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

uh, a reminder to everybody to ask for the things you want. Uh, but don't pour too much energy into people that are not giving you the time of day. It's not helpful advice, but that's the cocktail we've got to go with.

aimee_1_09-16-2024_033952:

Everybody gets to decide how much is too much for them, but the only sure thing is that if you don't ask, the answer will

rebecca_1_09-16-2024_123952:

Exactly. And on that note. À la prochaine, and by that I mean the next time.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!