Bonjhola

EP 49 - Taxes as an Expat or The journey of Rebecca learning to let go of control continues on Bonjola

• Rebecca West

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Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Amy and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Amy to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

So I don't know what's on your mind, but right now as an expat, all I'm thinking about is taxes and how to figure it out. It's a huge topic. How are you feeling about the paperwork side of being an expat?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

It's really funny you mentioned that because we have actually been having multitudes of conversations this month about taxes. We've talked to one tax person and my husband was not really excited about him. Um, and, but he's like, well, you know, like a quick Google search gave me more information than what this guy was willing to tell me. But then there's this reputation in Spain that people will just. Not tell you all the information you need to know, or not give you alternatives. It's like, this is how it's done. We're not, there's nothing that can be done about it. When actually there are things that can be done.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Wait, wait, wait, back that up. So you're saying like, first, is this just like a meet and greet or is this like a paid consultation and they still won't give you all the information? Yeah.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

He paid, but it was basically, this is how it is. There's nothing that can be done. And that's categorically untrue because chat GPT came up with several ideas that we could do to change, you know, some of the, some of the tax burden. Um, But it's not, and this is a pervasive thing that we have experienced and lots of other people have experienced here in that the information is given to you one step at a time when they decide you need it, if they decide you need it, and so you are perpetually in the dark about the big picture and effectively perpetually at the mercy of whoever you are. Is in front of you as to whether or not, whether or not you can actually accomplish anything because you don't know what you don't know. So how can you ask all of the questions that you need to know? If you don't even know what you don't know.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I am feeling so many feelings right now, and you, you really nailed it right on the head, which is that we don't understand the big picture. Like we know we're moving abroad. We know that the other country has rules. We know that certain countries have treaties with the U. S., which will be part of the conversation, but It's funny because everything I'm experiencing is true in the United States, too. Every single CPA kind of has their own way of doing things. Um, bookkeepers and CPAs and CFOs have totally different advisory roles, and they do not speak to each other. But I never, even as a business owner and even as a taxpaying citizen, in the United States, you can sort of muddle your way through all that. Anyway, because it's all familiar.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

And if you ask a professional, is there anything else I need to know? Is there anything I can do about the situation? Is there any. Anything that we can do to change the tax burden, they will usually have an answer other than no.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah, they may not volunteer the information, but I would say I agree. In the U. S., there's a culture of giving you the information that you ask for. So now, here I am living in France. with the property in Portugal, which I will have to say, I did not think about the tax side of that choice when I decided to pursue a golden visa.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

That surprises me.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I know, right? So whatever. But what I'm really discovering is, There is no central authority at all. You're going to have some random French tax advisors. You're going to have some random, in my case, Portuguese tax advisors. You have to figure out the timing that each country does their taxes in. So I had to extend my us taxes because Portugal doesn't do theirs until the summer.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Mm.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Um, and then, but even so, like, you have to be the captain of this ship when you have no clue how to sail it.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

no compass. You don't know how to sail the ship, and there's no damn compass on the ship.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

yeah, it is, it's in some, alright, there's one good aspect of this. It is challenging, my understanding, Of how well I can follow the rules in life. Like I am a rule follower. I'm a perfectionist, but it is impossible for me to get my hands around the rules. And so I am really having to practice letting go and saying, it's probably going to be fine. And I am so uncomfortable with this reality. It almost makes me want to go home.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I can imagine that. Absolutely. That makes, of course, of course, is the only response to that based on, you know, what I know about you. It is really, and also, I have to say, I'm deeply excited that you are being challenged in this way because it's such a wonderful opportunity to really Trust the process and trust the unknown.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

It is so uncomfortable.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

yeah. If you're not nauseous, you're not doing it right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

but it's not the thing that I thought would be hard about moving to another country. Like I knew there would be taxes, but I just figured There would be rules because there's so many expats. How is there not a whole system set up for this? But I think I'm like, I'm living in the Star Trek world where there's like the Federation and the earth is one thing and we are not one thing on this planet,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah. So true.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah. So, all right. Well, let's, let's talk about what we have learned. Um, so as I mentioned, each country does it at different times. So you have to figure out that aspect. You will need a tax advisor or you'll need tax advice, I guess you should say, in each country. And you should not expect those people to talk to each other. That's my current takeaways. You?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yes. The same. The same. So, for instance, we, you know, we are accepting of the fact that in Spain, we cannot expect anybody to be savvy about helping us save money. Everybody likes to complain about their taxes, but evidently nobody wants to do the work of finding legal ways to. reduce the tax burden, so we need to find an American based tax advisor who works with expats to help us out on that end. We're still looking for that person. If anybody out there has one they like, please send us a message,

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Oh, you know, I may have found somebody that you're looking for. There, uh, there's a guy named Mike Mertz. And he is not for me because he doesn't have much specialty in France, but he seems to be Spain, Spain based, and he's US and Spain. So maybe stay tuned guys. Um, yeah. And to your point, we need somebody who understands the U S system, but they can't like Mike, they aren't going to be experts in every single country. They are going to have their. small focus, probably because the rules are so different from country to country. And also, I don't know what the licensing rules are, like who's allowed to speak to these different rules too. I don't know.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

That makes, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah. And this isn't even touching on the thing that everybody thinks they're going to struggle with, which is how much you have to pay in taxes. Like all of my French friends who have French businesses, Are now, you know, they're paying their French taxes and it's like a lot, I don't know how much, but they're all just sitting there kind of doing that mantra of, okay, but I have access to free healthcare. I have really high quality food. My kids are in amazing schools also getting high quality food. Like you really have to do this inventory list because our U S mentality is so focused on how can I pay the least taxes possible?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

You're right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

But. We can't have our cake and eat it too, as they say, right?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

And yet, you know, at least here, I live in Catalonia, right, which is a very wealthy area in Spain. There is a lot of money here. There are people with a shit ton of money here. And They must know something I don't know, because when you are looking at tax burdens that can be almost half of what you're making, where the hell is the incentive to grow wealth?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

And how can you rapidly grow your business in that circumstance?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

but maybe that's part of the point. We've talked so many times about how there isn't an incentive to work. If you've already got your bills paid for the month, you just close shop. And maybe this, again, maybe this is a us angle we're looking at through. Maybe they'd be like, well, why would we want to incentivize people? To work more like maybe there is an unconscious method to the madness,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Perhaps, but yet I do, you know, there are certainly those businesses that are like, uh, we did great. Let's shut down. But then there are other businesses that are, you know, rapidly growing that are opening up 2nd and 3rd locations in a short period of time, particularly with the additional massive influx in this area due to tourism. So either. They know things that we don't know, or the other thing I hear is that a lot of stuff does not get reported.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah. Well, and this is, I think really the, the divider. When we think about a lot of tax consultants, They're not dealing with our amount of money. There are certain games you can play When you have a certain level of wealth that simply don't apply To regular people so all these tax shelters and games that they play That some of which are legal some of which are not legal But they are not available until you have a couple of million dollars to throw into this or that You know, tax shelter.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right, right. But something like that has to exist here. I can't, I guess, I guess I'm struggling to believe that all of the, all of the wealth that I see is kept through illegal means. I just don't. And

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

wish that I

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

being naive. Mm

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

mean, we don't know that you're not, but there's, but I'm really, what you have highlighted for me already in this conversation is that the cake and eat it too aspect in the U S we are so focused on like tax deferred income, retirement plans and stuff. And it's because we are all responsible for building our own safety net. There is no safety net. Okay. And so we, we need these systems because if we don't have a pile of money at the end,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

We're screwed.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

we're screwed. And that is not the case in these European countries that we're talking about.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right. Right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

It's really interesting. You know, I started out thinking of it just as. as just money, but this is such a cultural lens. It's such a much bigger conversation than how much are you going to pay in taxes.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah. Yeah.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

It's

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

It is. I wonder, too, if because, if because people do pay so much in taxes here, that is partly why things like the people taking to the streets and protesting still has an impact on politicians here.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Tell me more Why do you think that?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

because I don't know. I don't know because they're at, I mean, because I, yeah, scratch that from

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Okay. Okay. Well, but I, What it makes me think of is when so much of your money is going into a government system that you're relying on to be your safety net, you're going to, I mean, I would think, pay a lot more attention to making sure that that safety net is going to be there when you need it, but it's not going to get eroded. Um, you know, things like the French getting so upset about the retirement age changing by a couple of years. That's a much bigger deal when. You're expecting the government to say, here's the reward for you giving me half your money all your life. I think, I think you really are right that it, it, um, I don't know, fires up the electorate in a way that isn't true when you're in a country where everybody is, independently responsible for their own outcome. I find it absolutely fascinating. I have learned so much more about, I don't know, the, the the benefits, the pros, the strengths of being an American by living here. That fierce independence, that freedom, and that almost piracy of take what you can, give nothing back because no one's looking out for you.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

yeah, yeah. It's a double edged sword, right? There are benefits and there are drawbacks to that.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah, and I think the challenge for me right now, which I'm sure a lot of expats can relate to, is I don't know how long we're going to be in Europe.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

So right now I'm not technically paying into the French system because I'm on a visitor visa and Damien's on a student visa. That really changes the calculus, you know, do I have to keep building that American nest egg? Or am I going to be here permanently so that I become a citizen and I'm building the nest egg through the government here in Europe? You guys have every intention of this being true. It's not a lifelong move, a very, very permanent longterm move. I imagine that that really affects the math that you guys talk about in a different way

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Not quite yet because there is so much in flux for us. I mean, we, and, and the rules here are different, So with the, with the visa that we have, we are required to pay into the Spanish social security system.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

because you're on that permanent residence kind of

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Well, it's a, it's a requirement for the, it is a requirement as an autonomo or as an independent contractor on the digital nomad visa.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

yeah, that would be true here in France too. Again, if I had a business of my own or I was working for somebody exactly,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

so, you know, so one of the things that my husband is trying to figure out is You know, is avoiding, like, how do we not pay social security in the U S and Spain, because that increases the amount of taxes, even that increases the burden, even more. And what are we supposed to do for this year? And what were we supposed to do for like, just the, that influx that transition time period. Is so ambiguous as you, as you mentioned before with what are we supposed to do here

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

and when

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

and when, and, you know, we're, we are already late for taxes on Spain this year, but we don't even know, like, what, It's all still so unclear, you know, and one of the things that I want to do, because our, because the amount of taxes that we'll be paying is quite a bit higher than what we're accustomed to is I want to do a sort of side by side comparison of, okay, we're getting taxed this much in Spain, we would be getting taxed this much in the US, but in Spain, our private health care care. is 2, 000 euro a year. What would we be paying for health insurance for a family of three in the United States? Here, we don't have a car payment, and we're not paying for gasoline unless we rent a car. How much would that cost in the United States?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

plus the insurance

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

plus the insurance Right. Plus the insurance. Additionally, our groceries remain at about 50 percent less. My son's tuition is 50 percent less. And so when we factor how much we're actually saving here, it could end up that we can't afford to live in the United States. States. Because we would be paying so much more and receiving so little in terms of quality of life, long term health outcomes, like all of these things than we are getting here.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

exactly. Exactly. And I love your idea of doing the side by side, although, and if you do it, I really want to see it. It's hard to make those numbers apples to apples, especially when you count things like the healthcare, because none of us know, you can at least do your monthly, what would insurance cost me? But as we know, as Americans, just because you have insurance doesn't mean that whatever you go through physically will be covered. It's hard. By your insurance, so there's all these unknowns on top of the numbers that we can figure out, and we're still a little bit in the, I don't know, rose colored glasses concept of living here because none of us, knock on wood, have gotten sick to the point where we really have to test the European systems,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right. Right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I don't want to, really, to red that moment,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I feel better about it here than the States.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Well, yes, and the language part,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah, the language part, but I mean, here's the thing, if I was in a major car accident in the States and was in a coma, I wouldn't be communicating either. So the doctors would be doing whatever the doctors were doing. It's just that. you know, if something happens here, hopefully it's not that extreme, but, you know, pantomiming and minimal comprehension of the language, someone around usually has some English understanding. And so I think, Where something like that to happen, particularly in a large city like Paris, it would end up being easier than you would fear.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I think it's not the catastrophic things like getting hit by a car. It's more like on Facebook today. I was reading about somebody. It's all about, you know, healthcare advocacy and they were like, I went to the doctor cause I was sure I had appendicitis. They patched me up and sent me home with opium and said, you don't. And then a day later they said, I definitely have appendicitis. Go back into a different doc and they have it. it goes back to the captain of your own ship when you don't have a compass or any information in the United States. We have to advocate for our own health care, despite not having a clue how to run our own bodies. And I imagine that that's true in Europe too, but again, this is. I don't know. I don't know how doctors actually treat you here. And that's a really scary feeling.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah. And, and speaking with women in this country who are going through perimenopause, that's true here. In terms of advocating for what you need, And the system not necessarily being open to anything other than what is written in the book that may or may not be 30 years outdated. So, yeah, that's. I think that's just anytime you're in any large system, if you just accept what is given to you, then you're going to get what you're given, whether it's psychiatry, education, or medical care, and is there anywhere in the world where it's consistently excellent, across the board, no matter who, right, right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah, and women's health care in particular is so antiquated. It's never been the forefront of studies. But, but you take all of that and then you compound it with the language issue. When you're like, I don't even know what they're talking about. Are we even talking about my appendix? I don't know. I don't even know how to say appendix in French.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

right. Well, medical advocacy is something that a lot of Americans aren't aware that they need for themselves.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

It's true. It's

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I think our generation has a very different attitude toward it, but our parents generation grew up with the doctor is always right. You don't question your physician. You have no business doing that and they do accept whatever's handed to them be it good or not.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I'm curious, given that you work in health, um, have you studied medical tourism at all?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I've not studied it I've had people talk to me about it Turkey is evidently a hot place to go to here in Europe for cosmetic surgery, dental care I've heard of people doing massive surgeries in India as well and I have heard of actually people coming from the US to Spain specifically for IVF because it's so much cheaper here to do IVF than it is in the States.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Interesting. How do you, how do you feel about that? As somebody who's in the system,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I think it's fantastic. The challenge with it is, is that if it is something where there is risk of complication, if you go home. They won't touch you because they were not the presiding physician who helped you during that process, right? So if you go to Turkey and you get a boob job and then you come back and you know, something's gone awry You're kind of up shit creek without a paddle because no No cosmetic surgeon in the States is going to take you on as a patient.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah, it's a lot like if you have a one contractor start remodeling your house and then they disappear. The second contractor doesn't want to just continue that work because they don't know how those wires were run in the first place. And they don't want to take that liability and responsibility on.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Exactly. Yeah. So, you know, if everything goes right, I'm all for voting with your dollar. I am a firm believer in voting with your feet and voting with your dollar because where we choose to be and how we choose to spend our money is the most powerful way for us as Americans to express ourselves.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah. So taxes, healthcare, real light topics, but this is

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Hey, at least you're not talking American politics, Rebecca.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Uh, no, I don't, I don't do that. I love this. I

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

the only way to make this any darker?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

We are, we, what is it? It's September and the September's we're recording. So of course our country is in the throes of pre election. I'm not, I'm not really watching any of it

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

No, I'm not watching either and I have noticed in the past week the tone on Facebook has changed. So I'm about to, kind of set up, set up a drip system of content for business purposes and exit for a couple months until, You know, maybe even until December, if things are undecided and just let it, let it be what it is.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

because we don't have any control over the outcome and I don't want to spend my days angry.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Exactly.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Yeah, but it's tough because I also don't like the idea that I'm a disengaged citizen. Um, in fact, a lot of our conversations around some people choosing to leave the United States to get away from the politics, I, I would like to think of myself as a good citizen, but I don't think I am. It, I don't, because I feel so disenfranchised, because I don't feel like I can influence anything. I don't feel like I can't see the purpose to pouring my energy in.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

That's it's funny that you say that because the podcast episode that I released for Blasphemous Nutrition last week is about that. It's because I knew based off of when I was doing clinical work in a medical clinic in 2020, and this was about the time of year That people became so enraptured and hijacked by political news that they ended up backsliding in their health, they would emotionally eat, they would drink and, you know, their labs started going in the wrong direction. Their weight started going in the wrong direction. And so I knew, when I started the podcast, I knew that when election time came. That I would be addressing this. And the bottom line is that self sacrifice is not your civic duty.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

That is fascinating. Like, I think that is such an interesting lens that I obviously like to hear. Um, I want to hear you say that again. That's really powerful.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Self sacrifice is not your civic duty. And the degree to which we are emotionally manipulated through the election cycle. brought up into an anxious, outraged fervor and sacrificing our sleep, our nutrition, our relationships. It is not worth it because at the end of the day, your vote in a national election is not Does not change the outcome. I mean, even, we have representatives who, like, decide what they're gonna do on our behalf anyway. And there have been times when the popular vote and the electoral college are on different pages. So, why throw your life and your health in the dumpster over that?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Right, because that's the point. You may not make an impact on the election, but you will absolutely make an impact on your well being and that of your family for potentially years, if not decades to come because of what we can do to our bodies. Through stress and through emotional eating and through severing relationships. Because as we've talked about many times on this podcast, they, and that is both sides want us to hate each other because that is what keeps them in power.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I thought we weren't going to talk politics.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

We're not. Oh, my cats, my cat's doing great. Thank you for asking. He's so happy here.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I'm so excited. So Murray's not afraid of the stairs anymore.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

No, segwaying to that. Nope. He goes up and down like a little champ on the spiral staircase.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

How does he like the view from the new place?

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

He's not really, actually, none of us are really outdoor people in this house. It's been really interesting living in what feels much more like a cozy cocoon.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

It's seasonally appropriate right now though.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

It is. I was appreciating that this morning. Damien opened up the, the curtain across the window. We look out and it's blustery and windy and all rainy. And it just made me feel so wonderful to just snuggle back into the duvet just for another five minutes. I love that pumpkin spice feeling, if you will.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah. Yeah. See for me it's the smell of wet cedar and Douglas fir that I associate with that blustery

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Not going to get that here.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

pumpkin spice. It's not my thing.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I don't drink it, but I love the smell. Give me a pumpkin spice candle and I will be a happy girl.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Totally noted.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

But in terms of holiday fair, the, uh, the mulled wine will be coming pretty soon with the Christmas markets. So excited about that. The big vats of onion soup, which we only call onion soup here because

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

It would be redundant to call it onion soup.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Exactly. Um, so yeah, we're really excited about the change in season. And then the shorter days are so nice because you get those beautiful Paris, Paris cafe lights at night. know, Paris is lovely in spring and summer, but it is a, it is a special place at holiday season.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yeah. We were actually, there just after Christmas, Last year or so got to take part in the onion soup and the mulled wine and I was actually looking at Holiday markets in Europe because I really want to go to Bavaria or somewhere and check out the Christmas markets But there was one that topped the list of some girl on YouTube That is in I think northern France It starts with an S.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Well, there's Strasburg,

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I think that's it. I think it's Strasburg.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Strasburg, yeah, so the whole Alsace region is literally like you take Beauty and the Beast and you just make it real, remarkable. So Strasburg is the biggest city in that area, and yes, it is 100 percent known for being this fairy tale of a place at Christmas, and then all of the small villages around the area, truly. You, you. You pinch yourself, you're like, I'm sorry, I need to go leave a crystal shoe on some steps somewhere because we're clearly in a fairy tale.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

So does Damien have any time off? Um, when the Christmas markets are open that we could do a, uh, we could do a group trip.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

We can look at that. He just started his first internship at Le Cordon Bleu. So he officially has a job for the next three months.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Dang.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

He did it yesterday for the first time and he came home like a kid in a candy store. He had so much fun at this event where he was one of the chefs and you know, he's a, he's an. Junior level chef. So he's just bringing things where people need them and chopping them up. And he had so much fun. So yes, he now that we have his schedule, I've got to look at when the holidays happen. We're thinking hard about going to Budapest, which is also apparently supposed to have some wonderful holiday markets.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

I've heard that too. And I've always wanted to go to Budapest.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I mean, that could be our Christmas plans.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

We'll have to talk to Shane about that.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

That's an interesting idea, especially if we've got an Airbnb all together. And then I can bring the cat again.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yep, yep. And I think you'll appreciate the fact that Hungary is so much less expensive than France or Germany.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

You know, there's that too. Yeah. Before we wrap up, speaking of the cat, and I do like that we ended up on this wonderful high bright note at the end here. Um, but so anybody who's following in my footsteps, bringing their animals and living in Airbnbs. So that's the cocktail that we've chosen. The challenge that I have found is that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of having a cat sitter. In an apartment that's not technically my apartment.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

just something for people to think about because we're really happy with the choices we've made. Um, getting an apartment as an expat in Paris is really, really hard. And if we had already made the decision that we were staying here long term, we would already be doing that work. But because we don't know what's at the end of, Those two years we're staying in the system. So that's just something, a little piece of the puzzle that you've got to think through is, yes, there's lots of Airbnbs for having pets, but if you want to leave, you've got to think about how you're going to handle that. Yeah. Unlike children, which I hear you can just leave at home. No big deal.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

It depends on how old they are and how responsible they are, because there are some, there are some humans, no matter how old, that should not be left alone.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

But that's at all ages. Yes, I agree with that. That brings back some baby babysitting memories. I once babysat and the uncle was home, you know, I must've been 15. The uncle was probably 21. We're talking a set of children, but at that age, 21 seems like a proper grownup. And so I was deferring a lot to him and at the, by the end of the evening, Amongst other things, toilet paper had been microwaved, dry toilet paper, a whole roll was put in the microwave, and caught on fire. I was not invited back as the babysitter.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Oh, no.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

And I agree with that choice because I needed to learn when to take charge and be an authority in the room. It's why they hired me. I didn't get that at the time.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Right.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

But, yeah, not everybody's a grown up.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

babysitting the 21 year old and you did not get that memo. I'm

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

didn't spell that out for me.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

gonna put that on squarely on them. I don't think that that was very responsible of them to expect that of you, but not communicate it to you.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Truly.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

hey, Uncle Bob's an idiot. Keep an eye on him.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

I'm not sure I would have been up for that as a 15 year old girl. So a lot of choices I think that family needs to revisit.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Yes, yes.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Well, having navigated taxes, And healthcare and politics and the holidays. What do you feel our main takeaway is today?

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

There's only so much that we can control in our lives.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Oh, Amy, I don't like that takeaway. No, because I refuse to admit it's true.

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Well, then you are setting yourself up for more pain and agony than is necessary, my dear.

rebecca_6_09-24-2024_133721:

Okay, fine. The journey of Rebecca learning to let go of control continues on Bonjola. A la

aimee-_1_09-24-2024_043721:

Until next time, folks. Que te vaya bien.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!