Bonjhola

EP 52 - Rebecca goes to Disney; We Process Our Childhoods

• Rebecca West

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Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Aimee and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Aimee to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Bonjola, Rebecca.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Angela, Aimee.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

So, you just told me that you've done probably the most American thing that one can do when in Paris that anybody, American or not, could do.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Yes, and I didn't know this was true until I was accused of it by all of our international friends. So therefore, I assume this is true, we went to Disney Paris. And we had the time of our lives.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

That's Dirty Dancing, not Disney.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Now we're aging ourselves for people getting our references.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

I think your love of Pepto Bismo and Icy Hot ages you

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Um,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

long before this.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

that is a good point. The Icy Hot is a new addition to my life. The Pepto's been a forever thing. Um, but back to cheerier news. Okay, Disney Paris. Um, here's the first thing I learned that I didn't know. It's stupidly close to Paris. It was a half an hour taxi ride home, and an hour taxi ride there, just based on traffic. That was it.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

It takes longer to get to the airport.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I know! So that was a delightful surprise. Um, we didn't stay in a Disney hotel, because as anybody who's ever been to any Disney knows, that is a very expensive hotel. Endeavor. So we stayed in a very nearby town. We're talking a 11 minute taxi ride at the Paxton hotel, which clearly is set up for international, mostly English speaking travelers to bring all of their kids and go to Disney. I mean, you can just, you can feel the vibe. it mostly you can feel the vibe and the easy to clean surfaces.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Ah. Real quick, let's back up. What on earth made you decide to spend a day, two days, at Disney Paris?

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

It was actually culinarily inspired, not because of the food at Disney, Horrible, actually. It was, it was the worst of American fare. I assume made with better ingredients, but it wasn't good. But one of Damien's, professors at Le Cordon Bleu manages a restaurant that's over in that town where the Paxton Hotel is. It's actually a restaurant at the Paxton Hotel. So we wanted to try it. He's trying to get to know, you know, the, the professors and what they're up to. And since it was so close to Disney, He was like, well, why don't we also go to Disney? And for me, since I was a little girl, Disney is always a yes. I mean, roller coasters are always a yes.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

How have I not known this about you?

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I didn't know you didn't know this about me. Yeah,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

isn't tattooed on your forehead.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

it's true. But I mean, I did name my company Seriously Happy Homes, and Disney's the happiest place on earth. And I mean, there's some brand alignment there.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

I can see that now that you spell it out for me. Um, but I guess I just don't think of happy when I think of Disney. So,

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Wow. Um, yeah, I grew up on all the Disney films, especially the older ones. I think Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, but Knobs and Broomsticks. Um, of course the animated ones, Little Mermaid, probably

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Fox and the Hound.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

And Aladdin. Oh my gosh, I love these things. Now, I have never been the person who likes the heroes. I've always been a villain fan, especially Ursula, those pipes on her and her attitude. Um, she's got a good business sense, goodness, good business brain on her too. And, um,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

I feel like there's a podcast episode for you in your other podcast on that. How Ursula How Ursula teaches me business.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

can learn from Disney about business. Well, really what it came down to is it's woman after woman. It's why I like that musical wicked. It's woman after woman shown one note, you know, by, by being bold and being, by being unapologetic and by asking for what we want, we're cast as the villain. The heroines were always. waiting to be saved, which is my favorite scene in Shrek when the princesses are like, are you always waiting for somebody to save you? And they're like, yeah, what's up with that? Loved it. So I love Disney, but I've always seen it through the serious side of seriously happy. having said that roller coasters, they have, okay, so let's talk about what's awesome. The Indiana Jones ride was really good. Everything was about a 45 minute line at the end of October.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Okay.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

the, uh, there's a Star Wars, Star Trek, like, kind of space mountain y one. One of the big roller coasters that goes in the dark. Fantastic. Um, we also did the Avengers one, which was fine. But when it got really fun was my two favorites. Three favorites. One, really good Pirates of the Caribbean. Really good. And, quite a lot of French, which it just kind of makes it extra fun.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Awesome.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

And then really good. I get, I get them backwards. So I'm trying to get it right. There's the haunted mansion. Which is fantastic. Has always been one of my staples as a little girl. And then they have the tower of terror, which is on the studio park. And that was the very last ride we did. And I got off of that giddy as a school girl, clapping my hands, jumping up and down. I was so happy.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

That's hilarious. So are, are the rides then at Disney Paris the same that you would find, in Florida or California?

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I would say, yes, I haven't been back to Disney World in about 10 years, and I haven't been to Disneyland in even longer, and I know that the rides change. A lot of the staples were there, they're all a little bit different, and I will say that, like, this isn't where I'd, if I had the choice, I would go to Disney World. Always, hands down, followed by Disneyland and that is because the magic was a little less shiny and produced at Disney Paris. And I wonder if it has to do with the, the French worker and how important the French worker is. You don't really erase French people the way you can erase American people on behalf of

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Oh! A brutally honest take on the American worker.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

It is, and it, and it's really interesting to experience something so American within the envelope of another culture. It was just as clean, it just wasn't as produced, I think is probably the best word that I can come up with.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

So it was clean, but it didn't have that shellac of, like, almost gross artifice that

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

know. And, and it's funny, like I'm sitting here trying to describe something good and it, and what I've realized about myself. Recently is what I like is a production. I like a good musical. Um, I like an experiential dinner. I will pay money for somebody to take me out of my reality and put me into another reality. My books are like that. My favorite books are magical realism, dystopian. It almost doesn't matter what the other world is as long as it's got some

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

long as you can lose yourself in it.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Yeah. And so While I think there are a lot of questions we need to ask ourselves, um, how do I want to say that one of the things about Disney for anybody who doesn't know is they tightly control their brand and you can't get jobs for most of the roles. If you like, you're covered in tattoos or piercings. They just, they know what their brand is. Now the thing is, as literally a business coach whose whole shtick is what the heck is your brand? Which tribe of people are you talking to? I honestly have no problem with that. It's either the right role for you and you're going to love it and be the Disney magic for your little princesses, or it's not.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Yeah,

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I don't see that as a problem. As far as I can tell, they're not doing the lifestyle stuff that like Hobby Lobby is doing where your private life isn't allowed either. It's really just what's on the job stays on the job. I don't know. What do you think?

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

so I'm not, well, I'm not following. Um, I guess that, that wasn't my question. Like, is that bad? That's not, you know, your brand is your brand. Right? So do you feel like the brand, the Disney brand is your brand? In France isn't, well, it sounds like what happened is you didn't, you didn't fall into Disney. You didn't disappear into Disney magic. You were at an amusement park that was Disney themed.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

yeah, that's a very good way of putting it. Yeah. Now, because of that, I kind of wonder if our international friends, where they're like, that's the most American thing, you know, they've only ever experienced this version of Disney and they didn't grow up on it. I could see where going might not actually be like the best day ever. So I think For me, Disney Paris really did rely on the nostalgia that I was already bringing with me to the park.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Right.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Mm hmm.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

I think, too, if you didn't grow up in the States and you didn't grow up with those movies and it wasn't such a deep, iconic part of your generation and your childhood, you won't connect to it in the same way. Um, regardless, you know, you could take, you could take someone from another country you know, certainly if we're talking, um, Eastern Europe and, and countries that are relatively new democracies, or still not yet democracies, and you drop them into Disneyland, the disconnect from how they grew up versus Disney, I think if you're of a certain age, it just, it just doesn't work, you know? You can't, you can't go back. You can't go back.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

especially if you grew up on the original versions of all of these fairy tales, which actually came, many of them, from Russia and Germany and the slavic countries. They are

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Oh, then it's all wrong. Then it's all wrong

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

even Mary Poppins had a dark ending, apparently, in the original.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Which one?

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Mary Poppins is apparently much darker in the original, for example.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Ooh, that's exciting to me. I know. I wanna, I wanna find that story.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

never read it, but my mother has always said that she loved that story as a child and felt that Disney ruined it. So I think that, yeah, it is a, it is a token of my childhood. It's a lot of what I cut my teeth on when I was thinking about myself as a female, both To help me shape who I am as a female, but also what to shape, how not to shape myself as a female. And I think it really had, you know, a damaging influence in that I believed in a version of love when I was getting married my first time that is inaccurate and unhealthy. Um, and led to that not being a marriage that works. So, you know, I love me some Disney, love me some roller coasters, but I also want to be honest with the impact of such a huge cultural brand too.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah. I mean, like those of us of a certain age who like Pepto Bismol and, um, and watched Dirty Dancing. We were cultured by Disney and Barbie. That is, those were the role models for us as to what it meant to be a woman. What it meant. To be a wife because what other choice did we have, you know, until does until until Barbie got to be like a secretary or a veterinarian or, you know, all those other things. Gosh, yeah, that's, that's kind of that's causing me to reflect on my own childhood and the, the, uh, violence with which I pushed back against that story. You know, I refused. I couldn't, I couldn't accept, I could not swallow that garbage to save my life. Um. Yeah. Interesting. And maybe that's why Disney never did really anything for me. Once I hit Really after the little mermaid, I was just kind of like, yeah, this is, this is not, this is not, this is a little too fluffy for me. It's a little too saccharine. It's a little too much.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I'm glad you brought up Barbie. I grew up on Barbie and Disney, and I didn't realize the effect Barbie had on me until I watched the recent Barbie movie

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Oh,

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

and was moved to tears of nostalgia, tears of joy, tears of pride, tears of sadness. I was like, what is even happening while I'm watching this movie? Ridiculous movie,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Wow.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

but we grew up with Barbie and Disney, and then I kind of graduated into Marvel and Pixar because they were dealing with more complicated emotional nuance. And then you also have the DC world, and Star Wars world, which were very dark and very serious. And it's. Very few happy endings, And even if it is a happy ending, you know that there's still crap storm coming.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Yeah.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Now that Disney owns Marvel and the whole Star Wars world and Pixar, you

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

And the Simpsons.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Oh, and the Simpsons. That's right. Um, now that Disney owns all of them, that's, that's interesting for me because I think when you grow up on brands that are this big in your head. They feel like yours. And then when they do things to them that you don't agree with, you're like, that's, that's my childhood story that you are messing with. Or that's my childhood story that you're, you're taking when it was never really ours in the first place. Like that blend and balance between what a culture is, what belongs to us, what we carry with us when we move to France and Spain. Versus the fact that at the end of the day, it is a corporate beast, you know, controlling how we think, what we eat, where we live. It's it's astonishing when you really pull

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

It's, it's so funny that you mentioned that because I'm actually, the episode that I'm actually working on in, in Blasphemous Nutrition is about, uh, Siete Foods selling to PepsiCo. Um, and I don't know, I don't know our, our Bonjola audience well enough to know if they know Siete

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

I do

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

sure they know Pepsi. So Siete Foods is a natural foods brand. They are,, they make grain free Mexican food. snack foods and spice blends and tortillas. So they originally came out with almond flour tortillas, which were the first tortilla on the market that did not split in half when you were trying to roll a burrito or fold a taco. Like, they held their shape. It was amazing. And cassava flour and stuff. And so, you They really took off because, one, gluten intolerance, two, paleo was really big when they started out, and, and so they don't do seed oils at all, they don't do any grains, and they've become a huge brand. it's, it's called Siete because it is, it was created and it's run by seven, I want to say they're cousins, not siblings, seven Mexican cousins out of Texas. And, um,

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

is the number. Siete.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

yes, the number seven, siete, and, um, PepsiCo just bought them for 1. 2 billion dollars. And the natural foods community crapped their pants. Because, as consumers, we have an expectation that our favorite brands behave in a certain way. If they're advertising our values, they wouldn't do that, right? They wouldn't do that. So it's funny that you say that because I've been, you know, I've been spending the last few days like immersed in, in this and you know, what's happened in all, all these other natural food brands. Most of the natural foods that we have ready access to in the United States, certainly international American brands that are organic natural food brands, they are owned by huge conglomerations like General Mills and Kellogg's that. You know, may not be aligned with your values, and yet, aren't you glad you can get that food overseas? Right? So, it's interesting.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

It's fascinating. Absolutely. And then as as a brand maker, as a person who's thinking about how do I want people think about the services I provide or how do I help my clients develop their brand? It can also box you in. We just finished watching Ellen's most recent comedy special, which was It's really good. I liked Relatable even more, but this was really good, but it was really a commentary on how, you know, she built a persona around be kind. And then somebody decided it was time for an Ellen vendetta and she was constantly in the news about how mean she was. And then she kind of got blackballed. Now what's real, what's not real, probably both.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

right. Because she's a person! Hello!

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

but we, we box in our brands. We box in ourselves, but we have to build something that people can trust or they won't buy it. It's, bananas,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

here's the thing, here's the thing, that's the fundamental limitation. And I think, you know, if you're, to circle back around to the topic of this podcast, if you're looking to, to expatriate or if you're looking to immigrate to another country, you are. You can't be static like that you have to be willing to diversify your experience to diversify what you invest your time in your money in and i think. You know when we you know this was this is one of the points that i'm making and in the podcast episode that i'm about to release is that we don't know what was going on beyond behind see if there's closed doors we know more about what was going on with disney disney was in financial trouble. It probably was best for them as a company, and one of the reasons they're still around, to diversify out of antiquated, misogynist, sexist, bullshit fairy tales. And bring in something like Star Wars and The Simpsons that's a little, you know, a touch more blasphemous to reach a wider audience, right? I know so little about what it takes to take a product and grow a product based business. To one, be successful to be nationwide, three, expand and diversify your products, right? And to actually sustain that. What I do know from watching, you know, people I know with businesses and what I've experienced on a much smaller scale is that creating a business and running a business does threaten your health, your relationships, and. You know, everything in your life, if you're not careful, and we don't know what this family has been going through, we don't know what the finances are in the back, you know, behind closed doors, selling to PepsiCo may be the only thing that allows any of us to continue to enjoy their products.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

absolutely. And

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

And I think, go ahead.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

no, no, no, please. I want you to finish.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Oh, I just, I think that, you know, when we have these rigid views about how companies need to be, how people need to be, we really, we really just Box ourselves and others into a very limited space where nobody can thrive. And it feels secure. It feels safer. It feels more reliable. And we love that shit. Pardon my language. I'm sorry. We love that. But. That's not a place of thriving, and I'm, I'm sorry. I'm sick of surviving. I want to thrive That's why. That's part of the reason why I'm now in Spain.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

And being here does challenge us. It makes, it has made me question everything I thought I knew about myself and about the world. I'm having, this is the stupidest epiphany that I'm having right now, but Because I was, um, because it's been 20 years of having my own business and because I was surrounded by business owners and because my clients, the kind of people who hire a designer. So they're also driven, busy, businessy people. I thought it was nor don't please. Okay. So you're allowed to laugh at me. I thought it was normal to schedule your friendships two to three months out.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

No, that's an American

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

Yeah, I am very slowly getting my head around the fact that I may not change my behavior because there's things I like about me and my life. But I have to recognize that that choice is a limiting factor on who I will end up friends with and how I will spend my time. And I don't think that there has to be an answer. I think when you recognize something about yourself, it doesn't have to be right or wrong or good or bad. It's just, an opportunity to say, do I want to continue this pattern or do I want to change this pattern?

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

right. Does this align with my values? Does this align with who I think of myself to be? Or who I want to be.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

And the beautiful thing about making this ridiculous choice to go to live in a different country is there is no better opportunity. To reinvent your choices because you do have a clean slate. Nobody has any brand expectations about you. And so you can go from being somebody who was always on time to not having to always be on time or vice versa. And that's the thing I would like to leave people with as they're listening today is. You know, especially if you're an entrepreneur, yes, you have to establish a brand people can trust. So you can't be changing your story every single day, but when it comes to being a human,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Mm hmm.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

If you get the opportunity to start fresh, there aren't a lot of opportunities like that in life. So don't let it pass you by.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Yeah. I love it.

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

And go to Disney, because it's super fun.

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

And go to Disney!

rebecca_1_11-05-2024_133703:

that brings us to the end of this episode, dear listeners,

aimee_1_11-05-2024_043704:

Until next time. Hasta pronto.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!