Bonjhola

EP 56: How Being an Expat Lets Us Take Other Challenges In Stride - also: Rebecca's Parisian Party Hot Spots and Travel Tips for All

• Rebecca West • Episode 56

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Where to find Rebecca:

Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Aimee and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Aimee to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Bonjola, Rebecca.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Angela, Aimee,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

I haven't talked to you in like two weeks because I've been over in the States, which we'll talk about shortly, and you have been evidently redoing your college years in Paris, or

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

I was never a partier in college,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

making up for not partying in college by doing it in Paris, midlife. I mean, this is Like, we're, we're all, we're all in Europe because of our midlife crisis. Like, let's just call it what it is.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

I will say that I am impressing our mid 20 year old friends with, or Damian and I both are impressing our mid 20 year old friends by how energetic we are, but what they don't know is that it takes us days to recover. Like you sleep. The whole next day.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah, it has been a whirlwind. We are only 10 days into December on the 31st and 1st. We moved apartments. Then our friend from way in the way back machine, I think we talked about him in past episodes. Who loves to party came back to the town.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

like every

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

So this time at least I was able to like emotionally prepare for this, clear the calendar. I didn't know which days we'd be going out, how late we'd be staying out. So I just, You know, I nourished myself in preparation. Um, and yeah, it has been a whirlwind. We, we went out for tapas and the champagne float flows freely when this person is around. And so there, yeah, I made bad decisions that night. Um, the takeaway, the reminder to everybody is. Drink water. If I had just followed my own rules,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

remind yourself of that by not doing it. And like, oh yeah, that rule still applies.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

you. Yeah, it's a really good rule that we should totally listen to. But I had a great time and it was no big deal. And I guess the only sad thing is, is that we're not talking about that much champagne anymore, right? It's not like, Oh yeah, I went through bottles. I mean, we're probably talking one.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

hmm.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

So the, the, the thresholds are lower, but we had a great time. Uh, and then we went out again on Wednesday night to Indian food there. We found a really good Indian restaurant here. So if anybody's listening and craving that in Paris, shoot me a message on Instagram and I will let you know where that was it's Punjab palace in the 15th. delicious. Um, then we went to, a club called the Gainsbourg. He's a famous French singer. Um, that's a very sexy club. Love it. If you're looking for like a really cool kind of like moody vibe, that's really kind of classy feeling, then we went to Castel. So Castel is an actual private club here in Paris. And we've been many times. Our friend Florent sometimes plays piano there. He is so good. And there's like a, there's a dinner area. There's a bar area, there's a downstairs dance area, and then there's a down downstairs smoking room. And there is no ventilation, so I'm pretty sure I did inhale a lifetime of secondhand smoke just in the bathroom. 30 minutes that we were listening to piano playing in that

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Right.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Um, but I don't know, you know, the food in France is better. Maybe the tobacco is cleaner, too. I'm not one to answer that question.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

The European Union does have stricter rules on additives, so possibly?

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Still not recommended for your health. Um, but this particular night, the manager. Came in wearing a, like a Cirque de Soleil circus, like ringmaster costume with an entourage of people dressed like this, apparently they had been at some party. And so the place just fills with people kind of out of a Alice in Wonderland, psychotic mushroom dream. And I could not have been happier.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

is how I want the entire decade of my 50s to go.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yes. Yes.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

100 percent yes.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

It was amazing. Now. I also, I knew we were going to Castile, so I dressed for it. I have one dress that I would consider sexy. I put it on. I even had to buy high heels, which was not a fun adventure for reasons I will go into in a second. Cause I was very mad at Paris this week too. Um, but I, I kind of regretted my decisions because I got flirted with,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Oh.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

with by French Men and it terrified me. I like, I ran away like a little rabbit to go find my husband. And it was fun and it was silly and it was playful and it was everything. You imagine Paris to be in the movies and it was happening in real life. And then the next night was La Coupole, which is the 1920s to 50s big band burlesque variety dance show that we always go to. And we ended up making reservations for dinner at midnight at La Coupole. The food was actually very, very good. So it's not all hype. And before we did that, These three young French people came up to us to ask us if there was a parade. They'd heard that there was a parade before the show. We're like, we have no idea. Well, we ended up talking with them and one of them, it was one of their birthdays and we had one extra bottle of champagne before we had to go upstairs for dinner. So we were like, here, have this champagne. So again, it was so playful and convivial. Oh, it was fabulous.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

That sounds amazing. Oh

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

the spectrum, Paris. Okay, the saga continues. I still have not applied for health insurance. I finally have an address. So I've, I've got everything together. I need to make some copies of some papers.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

yes.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Okay, I've needed to do this before. So last time I mapped out two places because I just know better. I went to Mock and Print. Mock and Print was closed for no apparent reason. I went, no problem. I have a backup plan. I went to Office Depot. It was super easy. I'm like, cool. I know where to go for copies.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

have Office Depot in Paris?

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yes, but it's not, it's, it's like Office Depot from an alternate universe. It's just not quite right. American.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Disneyland Paris.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Mm hmm. Exactly. Exactly. Like, some things are better here. Like, apparently Zara here is much better than Zara in the

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yep. Well, Zara is a Spanish company, so.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

That makes sense then. Office Depot is a kind of sad shadow of itself, as is mailboxes, et cetera. Don't expect your American experience there, especially when you think, Oh, I can go get copies made. It worked a week ago. And I showed up at 11 a. m. They're open from 10 a. m. To 8 p. m. It literally says it on three signs on their building. It says service non stop. So they're not supposed to close for lunch, which is a common European thing just closed for no reason. And that happened to me several times this week, and I, I, I did about have it with Paris. I, I really, really wanted to find a closet where I could go scream at the top of my lungs. Of course, that would be inappropriate behavior walking down the streets of Paris.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

it's just, and then today we're trying to get our French bank accounts. Uh, we went, we know better, right? So we went last week and said, we would like to have an appointment to do this. So we make an appointment today. We went for our appointment and within 10 minutes, the very nice man said, Oh yes. I spoke to my manager and she says, you need to go do this. At this other branch. And he very kindly helped us make a appointment for two days from now, where we will go have our third appointment ask, please, please, please, will you look at our paperwork to see if we have everything you will want so that we may please, please, please have a bank account. The real life of being an expat.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes, but I feel that I mean, we'll circle back around to this when I speak about my experience traveling.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

You're you're, it's not an experience. That is a saga.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah, I guess, I guess it is something else, that's for sure. Um, but the, the unpredictable nature of living in Europe, I think particularly as an American, when we just expect things to be what they say they're going to be, if you're going to be open. open. If you are allowed to make an appointment at a branch, that means that branch will serve you said appointment at said time, otherwise why would they bother making the appointment in the first place, right? These are things we take for granted in the States.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

But I feel like the chaos of living in Europe really does recalibrate, okay, I guess I can't speak for you, Rebecca. I feel. The chaos of Spanish bureaucracy and living in Spain has recalibrated my central nervous system such that I can spend three days trying to get across the pond and be like, that wasn't so bad. Absolutely.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

yes, I would say I 100 percent agree with you and it still builds to a level where you want to smack somebody in the face because you kind of end up feeling powerless and in a lack of control. But it's, it's. I can't think of a better thing for an American to experience. This is going to sound so self centered, but it continues to remind me that I am not the center of the universe. When you are an American, everything is on demand to the point where we have The name Karen to identify somebody who things didn't happen fast enough and perfect enough for, and that is a very American concept. And of course there's the other side of it, which is that one should be able to expect, people to follow through on promises that they make you. That's not inappropriate.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes, and life happens, but I feel there is a definite wide breadth of acceptance for life happens here.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yes, I think you may have exactly nailed it, I don't understand why an entire store with more than one staff person would have to shut inexplicably with no sign on their door. But, having said that, people here are like, if you're sick, you stay home. If you have a baby, you stay home. If you, if you have a life, go live it. I cannot tell you how many people I've met lately. I said, you know, what are you, what are you doing? Not necessarily what do you do for a living, but just kind of what do you do? They're like, yeah, I don't work. And I'm like, but you're 26. How do you not work? And they just, the math is different here. Living your life takes priority. And I love it. Like understand, even though I want to smack somebody in the face. I would not, I wouldn't trade doing this, but more, I don't actually want them to change because I know all the other changes that would come with that. And that's exactly what I was trying to leave. So even though it drives me absolutely insane, I don't actually want anything to change.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Well, you know, I mean, to, it's the American version of traffic, right? It's collectively hated. We don't like it. I'm sure Parisians don't like it when they're going somewhere to run an errand and the place is closed, right? It's collectively a hassle. But you put up with it because that's how it is, just like traffic.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah, that's true. Absolutely true. And because you're getting something in return, right? Right. Every single person can go choose to take. A bus, but they're not choosing that because the pain of sitting in traffic apparently is less than the pain of sitting on a bus.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Well, yeah, I mean, in Seattle, you'll get the, you get the fentanyl fumes on the bus, and takes just as long, if not longer,

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Well, that's an entirely different conversation and problem. So speaking of transportation issues, would you like to tell us about your saga?

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes. So, you know, cue back to September bout of homesickness, got tickets for my son and I to, to go to visit family for Thanksgiving and, um, you know, Shane stayed here and, you know, we did, a little math and it's like, yeah, it's been about, two and a half years since he's had any time to himself.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Oh,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah. So I was like, Oh, you, you stay here. Like, yes, please stay here and enjoy yourself. And, uh, let me take the kiddo and let's go see family. So, um, both of my parents were there and my sister and I, and this was the first holiday that all of us were together in, I think. 32 years, my sister does not recall a holiday, uh, cause my parents divorced when she was quite young. So that was like monumental, right? And dad tried to leave, dad tried to leave my, my sister's hometown. She's in Southern Oregon, uh, the, the night after Thanksgiving. And the flight was canceled due to fog. And of course, if you're trying to get out Friday, the weekend after Thanksgiving, everybody's trying to leave town that weekend. And so they couldn't rebook him until two days later, until Sunday morning. And so he got rebooked for that flight and then Sunday morning, that flight was canceled. Dudafog. And so they rebooked him for Tuesday. Now my father is not one to sit and wait calmly. He is very, he's gotten very, very good at pretending to calmly sit and wait. But inside he's going stir crazy like a caged animal, right? You know, when, when they start, when they start like rubbing their nose on the cage and eating, you know, chewing their hair, scratching their fur off, like I'm imagining, he's just going nuts because it's a small town, there's not a lot to do. There's not, um, you know, we took the kids shopping for new clothes, but, you know, that's not really like, what a 70 year old guy wants to be doing on his weekend, taking the kids clothes shopping. So, um. He did so well, though, at just, you know, biding his time. But when the second flight was cancelled and they were saying, we can't get you out until Tuesday morning at 6 a. m., I'm like, yeah, chances are it's going to be foggy Tuesday morning at 6 a. m., just like it has been. So we ended up getting the last seat available out of Portland. And my brother in law drove him to Portland so that he could go home.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Wow.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

um, and that was the Monday after Thanksgiving and our flight back to Europe was the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. And the fog had been bad, you know, for almost a full week at that point, but it was only bad in the morning and the evening. So it was like, well, we'll be fine, you know, cause our flight left in the afternoon. But that day. The fog never left.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

No.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

So the minute that our flight was delayed and our connecting flight in Denver was not attainable, I was like, okay, we're not going to play this game. I know how this is going to go down. So I had them rebook me. And this is the abbreviated version of the story because nothing was as seamless as I'm about to present it. So I rebooked. Uh, from Portland. I was like, here's how this is going to go down. I'm going to leave from Portland and I'm going to rent a car and not even play this story because yeah, I've already relived it through someone else's eyes. I'm fine. Thanks. Um, I managed to get the very last rental car available at the airport because. Everybody else, over the weekend, had rented cars to get out of town when their flights were canceled and people who had already rented cars before Thanksgiving were not returning them to the airport because they were dropping them off in Portland! Yeah,

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

But you got

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

I did. I did. I got the last one on the lot. Absolute blessing. And, um, if you don't already know to do this, super, super important, take pictures and video of 360 view of any rental car that you have. Focus on the bumpers, focus on glass, focus on anywhere where the paint is less than perfect because you never know. When it will come in handy and on this trip it did. Yeah, the bumper was cracked Which I didn't catch and they caught when I dropped it off But because I had taken pictures and video I didn't have to pay for it

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Oh, good.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah So we drove five hours to Portland rented a hotel, um, slept about five, six hours, and then, and then got, got a flight out of Portland. And there was fog sporadically all the way up I 5 throughout the whole length of Oregon. When we got to the, um, Hotel, there were two people behind me waiting to check in. One guy had been trying to land in Bend, Oregon and couldn't because of the fog. So his flight was diverted. Another guy was, I believe, trying to get to Seattle and he couldn't get into Seattle because of fog.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Wow.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

I think it may have been the only airport in the Pacific Northwest that one that someone could get out of. And San Francisco was having problems too, of course, because it's San Fran. So

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah. I mean, you expect it for San Fran, but not for these other

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yeah, so we left Portland without a hitch. Fantastic. Super excited. I was only concerned we had a two hour labor layover in Chicago and then a one hour layover in Newark and I was a little concerned about Newark, particularly because Chicago is notorious for weather issues. Um, but the forecast was clear. The wind wasn't outrageous. It was like, okay, so this should work just fine.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

But wait a minute, isn't your, the one from the East coast, that's getting onto the international flight. So wouldn't that be a harder layover,

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes. Yeah. Because Newark to, yeah, it was going to be Newark to Barcelona.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

right? So tell us what

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

So, so I land in Chicago, we deplane and not five minutes after we've deplaned, the flight attendant says, our flight to Newark is delayed because the FAA tower in Newark is down. There are no flights. Going into or out of Newark at this time and LaGuardia is full.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Oh my gosh.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

are the odds? So it wasn't weather, it was tech.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Wow. And at least it wasn't Chicago's

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

it wasn't Chicago's fault. No, Chicago. was fantastic. We got wonderful Greek salads in Chicago. So my son and I both got our veggies in and they have wine bars everywhere. So, um, that ended up being utilized as well in Chicago. But

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

You know, people complain about the Chicago airport, but I always liked it. I always felt like it had a good vibe.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

I didn't leave the terminal I was in, so so I don't really, I don't know, but there were sufficient amenities to keep me content. Yeah.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I'm not, maybe they have to because of their reputation for screwing it over.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Maybe so, maybe so.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

All right. So are you in a hotel now in Chicago at this

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

So at this point, um, we're still at the gate, the ticket agent or the, the, the, um, the flight attendant was like, here, scan my badge. This QR code will take you to. Customer service. They will re book your flight. If you're going to Europe, folks who are going to Europe, come here. Just scan my badge. You guys are not going to have any problem. We have lots of flights. And for reference, this is United airlines, uh, that I was doing this through. I booked through Lufthansa, but, um, but my last leg into Oregon was through United. And so when that flight got canceled, I had to call Lufthansa and Lufthansa put me on United to get back. And it was going to be united the whole way, but that didn't end up happening. So, uh, very efficient unite. When I called in and put in my confirmation number, they're like, Oh, your flight has been delayed and you are clearly like you're clearly in the middle of your trip. And so they put you at the front of the line. So there was no long wait on the phone, which was fantastic. and so I talked to a booking agent. I got rebooked on Swiss air for a flight that was leaving. later, later, five, six o'clock, which is when the United agents and most of the flights to Europe would be leaving. And so I got rebooked for Chicago, Zurich, Barcelona, and we would be arriving in Barcelona. Friday afternoon, and, it was like, great, okay, good, done, that was super easy, and, we went and got food. And then I got a call from Swiss Airlines and they were like, you cannot take this flight. This flight is already overbooked. I don't know why you were booked on this flight. You should not have been. You need to find a United agent and get yourself on a different flight because this will not work for you. I'm like, okay.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Now, up until now, how was your temper and how was your son's temper?

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

My kid was freaking amazing. Amazing. No tears, no frustration, no ruffles. He had, he's really into Brawl Stars right now, which is some like weird kind of cartoony game where you're fighting, but you know, with fire balls and weird, weird, I don't know. It's a, it's a game. Um, and they had dropped a new update or something that morning.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Good timing.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

yeah. So he was fine, right? Like all, all limitations on the iPad were off for the day. He was just like, you know, he was cool. He was, he was totally fine. Um, he was tired. He was, he was wanting to get home for sure. He was kind of over the travel piece, but he was, You know, he really kind of did a British stiff upper lip and was just like, all right, well, this is, you know, it is what it is. No complaining at all. It was amazing. I don't even know who this child is, but he's super impressive.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Maybe you should keep

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Maybe I'll keep him. Maybe he's earned his keep.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

So how are you feeling being told by Swissair too?

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

So my initial thought is Um, an unkind, who is the idiot United's customer service agent who put me on an overbooked flight and why do they let you even do that in the first place? But I was like, okay, I need to find somebody to rebook these tickets. It's like, I really don't want to get on the phone again. I want to talk to a person. I want to look somebody in the eyes. I want to get this done with a person where we can do a quick back and forth, right? Without being put on hold or anything like that. And so I'm walking around the terminal looking for, uh, someone at the gate who might be able to help me, or if there's, you know, a customer service branch of United there, there's nothing. So I'm like, well, should I leave the terminal? I don't really want to, um, Leave and then have to go through security, but I start walking in that direction. This is like well You can always tell when you're about to leave the area, right? So I was like, well, let's see how far this can go and O'Hare is a huge airport. So we're going through this like underground walkway with these very 1980s fluorescent kind of colored to

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Those lights. It's one of my favorite parts of that airport.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

That's where I was.And the closer I'm getting, the further, you know, the, the more we're walking, the more my gut is like, no, no, this isn't, this is not what you wanna do. So it's like, okay, let me call and see if I can get through to rebook before I get, further. And again, got, got somebody right away to rebook. So I was like, okay, great. I'm gonna stop here. We're gonna see how far we can go with this. And I got rebooked. On Brussels Airlines, didn't know there was a Brussels Airlines rebooked from Chicago to Brussels to Barcelona. It was leaving in two hours and this agent was very concerned about our luggage and very concerned about making sure that our luggage was with us. She refused to book us on a flight that was leaving in 30 minutes because she's like, you cannot leave the airport without your luggage. You can't do it. You can't do it. And I'm like, that happens every single day. Actually. So, I, there's, there was a lot of drama for her about it. A lot of drama. It was like, if you're in bags or not with you, the bomb squad will get cobbled in. I mean, she didn't say any of this, but, but the urgency and intense Checking in to make sure you need to go and talk to somebody and make sure that your bags get on this flight. It is so, so important. You have two hours. It's plenty of time. Go find somebody. They'll print your boarding pass and make sure your bags get on this flight. I'm like, I'll do it immediately. Okay. It's okay. I will absolutely do that. Thank you. Thank you for your advice.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

It sounds like she either just went through a very, um, intensive training on this importance, or that she just had somebody either like shut down the whole stupid airport because they missed a step. Like something feels like it was, it's fresh for her.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

That's a really good point. Yeah, then maybe that's what's going on. Cause it was, it was a little over the top. I was like, alright, that's cool. I'll take care of it. So, that was the fourth and final itinerary. For the trip back. That one worked. And, the other thing that I discovered is that, you know, so my next quest, right? The, the thing I think that kept me calm, cool, and collected throughout all of this is that I was never really more than 30 to 45 minutes away from knowing what the next step would be, not a speculation, not a hypothesis, not a like, well, maybe, but okay, this is what's next. This is what's next. And I think. Because that's not common in Spain, because that's never a guarantee that you're going to know the next step in Spain. I think that's why I was like, well, this is a fun adventure. We'll get home eventually. And I'm a little tired. My goals were, my primary goal was not to sleep in the airport with my son. My secondary goal was let's make sure the luggage gets to us eventually, that it doesn't get lost. I wasn't really, like, attached to it coming with us, just the That we knew where it was and it would get to us. And, you know, make sure that we are eating regularly enough that nobody melts down, right?

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Yeah.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

And that was about it, right? Once all the steps were, the urgent steps were figured out. So when it came to making sure that our bags were going to be with us and getting the, boarding pass printed again, I couldn't really find somebody at a gate and we were walking up and down, but then I did find the United Airlines club, you know, when you have the credit card or you have enough miles, right? You have the special club. So I walked into there and I said, here's the situation. This is what I'm needing. is that, where can I get that done without going out of security? And she was like, you do not want to leave this terminal. You do not want to have to go through security. No, no, no. She said, we can do that here for you. So, even if you're not a member of the club, if you pay a fee, And for United, it was 59 effectively. They have staff there that can take care of any of your airline snafu issues while you enjoy beverages, food, comfortable seating, whatever. So that's something that I think people. You should really keep in mind, especially if you are traveling with children or you are tired, because it's a place where if you have a long layover, if there's stuff that needs to be figured out, it's well worth it to just pay the fee and sit down and have one place where you can relax. It's a little bit quieter. Right. Um, I did not end up doing that. She's like, you know, anybody at a gate can do this. I was like, well, let's see if we can find somebody. And if not, I know I can come back here and just fork over the 59. Right. Cause at this point there was already so much extra that was being spent trying to get home. and then I did find, I did find a gate agent. For a flight leaving elsewhere and she was able to print the boarding pass and directed me to someone who assured that our luggage is tied to our confirmation code. The confirmation code for our flight stayed the same, even though all those itineraries changed. And so the bags were still attached and they knew exactly where to put them the whole time.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

That's awesome. And that's a great example of technology actually working

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes. Yes. And when we ended up in Barcelona and picked up our bags, there, there was a new, a new tag wrapped around, you know, showing that it was going to Brussels rather than Denver, Newark. So.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

It is all an exercise in patience and in perspective, you know, talking about earlier, how we, when you get catered to too much, you get spoiled. That's how we create spoiled children. Same thing for adults. I remember at one of the dinners from the crazy, exciting week that we had, um, Our friend was actually supposed to be there, but he ended up putting the address in wrong twice for the Uber. So he was like going to completely wrong places in Paris. And it was sort of a comedy of errors. And at first we're giving him crap for it, you know, but we finally hook up at the, at Gainsbourg afterwards. And he's like, this has just been the worst day of my life. And I'm so sorry. And I'm like, Dude, we're just giving you crap. Nobody died. We, we had a lovely dinner without you. You know, we're sorry you weren't there, but it's okay.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

that was the worst day of his life, he's lived a very charmed life.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

Ronnie's like, yeah, you're right. It's not, I think you're right about how living here just kind of reminds you about what's important. Helps you take a deep breath. Not every day, but a lot more often than when you're living a charmed life. And I think. That's why I recommend travel in general, because it isn't easy. You don't have to expat to give yourself some anxiety. You can just take a regular trip, but it reminds you what hard really feels like. It reminds you what you're capable of handling, and it helps you practice staying calm when there's really no point in melting down and it won't help. Anyway, even if you really want to, and

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

It's a, I do feel, you know, it's one thing that I was really struck by, with some of the, you know, some of the children in the States that I was exposed to while I was there is the even greater hyperbolic language. I mean, everything in the States is extra dramatic and we speak like everything is a big deal. Everything is trauma. Every, well, I mean, for the kids, they talk about how like, Oh my gosh, when when he danced that way, it was so traumatic. I'm like, really? Really? Do you even understand what you're saying? I don't think you do. And when everything is that hyperbolic and everything is that amped up, then the things which are really serious and which are really legit get diluted and not taken as, not taken to be as important as they actually are.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

if you aren't developing the self awareness and self control to take that calm breath and you let everything

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

Yes.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

thick and paralyze you or whatever happens for you, then when the big crisis happens, you haven't actually built the capacity to handle it. You, you know, you have to practice being strong, just like building a regular muscle. The emotional muscles need training too because it isn't easy to not be a toddler. I would much rather throw my body on the ground and flail my arms and legs and have someone else pick up the garbage.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

well, I think, but there is this great infantilization that is happening with our children. I mean, in the colleges after the election, if classes weren't canceled, there were safe spaces where you could play with Legos and drink hot cocoa and have cuddly blankets. And that's not what, that's not actually what we need, that will not build the resiliency for the future generation to deal with the problems that are going to be happening at that point in time.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

That's a shame.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

It's so many words competing to get out of my mouth and they're all trapped in the doorway.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

We don't have time today, but on another call, it might be interesting to reflect on as we've done in the past, what did you see? How did it feel in the States and stuff? Because, um, you know, it continues to evolve depending on what's happening in the States with each of our trips

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

I do have a lot to say about that because I was in a small conservative town in Southern Oregon and Yeah, I do have a lot to say about that actually.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

stay tuned listeners. Well, for today, if you're in Paris, quick recap, I highly recommend Castel, great private club. If you're wanting to dip your toe in that world, highly recommend the Gainsbourg as just a lovely moody, very sophisticated bar. Um, Also didn't even talk about it, but went to a speakeasy called the moonshiner. Very, very, very fun. And, those are the only ones coming to my mind right now, but that's a good start and obviously follow me on Instagram to see what other crazy things are up to.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

And if you're flying, I will say United really did an excellent job. They are, their planes were Airbuses, which made me really happy because I'm rather nervous about Boeing these days, if I'm honest with you. Customer service was excellent. Um, food leaves a lot to be desired, but that's the. Case for any American based airline in our country. and don't forget, if you are in a pinch, that club can really help you out if you're willing to pay for it.

rebecca-west_1_12-10-2024_130707:

And final tip was, which I think was a really important one. Always, always take 360 video and pictures of your rental cars because it can really save your wallet and your butt. That's it for today. Our listeners, à bientôt.

aimee_1_12-10-2024_040707:

pronto.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!