Bonjhola

EP 63: Aimee's Good News, Rebecca's Fab Finds, and How We Transform Worry Into Something Useful

• Rebecca West

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Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Aimee and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Aimee to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Bonjola, Rebecca.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Tell

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I have some really good news.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

us your really good news.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I actually passed my Spanish class again.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

We all knew you would. Congratulations!

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Thank you And I not only passed it, I got a 70 percent. So, it's not even, like, barely passing. I'm solidly right at the line that marks average. From below average. So I feel super proud.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Do you feel that all of that future worry paid off or was a waste of energy?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I don't think it was really too much of a waste of energy? because I created a backup plan and which actually I have to implement anyway. and I got to be pleasantly surprised rather than Disappointed, so that was super cool, and the feedback I got was, you know, nothing really surprising, and also reinforcing my decision not to continue with that school, but to choose, but to give Apediomas a try, the worst things that I scored on was grammar, and also, oral, like speaking. I'm like, yeah. None of that, none of that shocks me at all. So, I'm going to continue with the Epidiomas class and I'll be doing just that because my trip to the States needs to be extended and I won't actually be in Spain for the start of the second half of the class.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

the universe was just setting you up to have the backup plan that you ended up needing despite having done fabulously.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Which I would not have even considered had I had grandiose self confidence in my Spanish speaking ability.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So the lesson is future worry for the win.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yay!

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

mean, it does help from a planning perspective. The more I think about, Ooh, if the zombies or aliens showed up right now, what would I do? The more prepared I'll be for that. unlikely eventuality,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Exactly. I mean, when I, when I am fretting about something, I don't have a habit most of the time of staying in the worry place too long where you're just kind of ruminating. I always aim to take that and turn it into an action plan because otherwise, otherwise, you just go crazy, right? And you just let your emotions run you into the ground. And so, with everything. I may have, I may have moments of, you know, deer in headlights or crawl under the covers, but usually within 24 hours I'm like, okay, what are you actually going to do if this situation unfolds like you're worried it will? And then it puts me back in the driver's seat and also ends up being an excellent exercise in creative problem solving, whether or not you ever actually get to implement it.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

right? Like I said, you'll be ready for the zombies. Now, I like that because there's a big difference between kind of the paranoia of looking over your shoulder, feeling chased and, you know, having a battle plan, like, okay, well, if this were to happen, I know precisely what I would do, which actually kind of makes the worry fall away.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, exactly.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

quite nice. It is really funny that we're having this conversation because I started a walking,, plan for our Camino trip coming up. And I did my five mile around the Eiffel tower loop today. And literally this morning was standing there looking at the Eiffel tower, thinking to myself, Hmm. If the aliens landed right now, what would I do? And then I went on to zombies. Would I survive? And then I was thinking, well, if you were caught in the Eiffel Tower, when these things happened, are you safer up there? I was literally thinking about that this morning. I don't, I don't know why. It's like I have a zombie movie on autoplay in my head. But the thing is, I love it. It's like you were just describing it kind of being a game.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

not worrying, obviously, about the zombies coming,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I'm really glad to hear that you do not worry about the zombies actually coming.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I worry about plenty of other things, but not that.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

So that's the entertainment worry that you have rather than the real life worry.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Definitely. It's almost like daydreaming, honestly. I, I just choose kind of dark macabre things to daydream about, which totally aligns with one of the things I got to do this week.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Tell me.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So there is this amazing store here in Paris for anybody that likes oddities and curiosities and things like taxidermy and gem collections. I don't know if I've mentioned it before. Probably I have. It's called Dayroll. D E Y R O L L E. Yeah.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

this week they had a book signing for Ryan Matthew Cohn, um, and Regina, oh, I'm forgetting her last name. Sorry, Regina. But they wrote a book. They just came out with a book called The Witch's Door. And it's all about the collection that Ryan has collected. Over like decades and the stories behind his collections, obviously bought the book. I've been binge reading it. I'm a third of the way through. I thought it was going to be like a picture book, but I was delighted to find that it's much more of a memoir. And I'm actually learning just the most odd, wonderful facts. And he's a great entrepreneur. So you're getting a lot of that. Behind the scenes of the hustle of surviving in antiquities and that buying and selling realm of things of value. It's super cool.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

How fun is that? Can you drop one of the factoids that you've learned from reading the book?

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Let me think for a minute. One of the moments I really liked was when he was talking about how in order to grow a good collection, one of the things you have to be good at is letting go of parts of your collection. You have to shed the least good things, whatever good means based on your count and calibration in order to make room for the great things. And especially because he was living in New York and so he was living in tiny apartments. which this particular career does not really jive with. Um, and in fact, they've moved. I think they said they've moved to Connecticut because they needed like a big proper house for all the things. But I just loved that. I mean, it's such a life takeaway that you have to let go of clutter. What becomes clutter in order to make room for what's even better. Even if you're attached to those things that came before.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, that's a hard one for me. I definitely lean towards clutter myself

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Given that you shed so much in order to move to Spain, I'm, I'm really surprised to hear you say that.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah Well we do have a storage unit left in the States, so it's not like

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Yeah. So do we. For, it's mostly for mementos and things that we don't consider replaceable, but are also not the kind of thing we were going to pack on the plane. How, how much, how big of a storage unit do you guys have?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

What is it? I think it's like a 6x10 or a 6x8. It's not huge as far as storage units go. And there but there are definitely, yeah there are definitely things in there which are mementos that I wouldn't put on a plane. for instance, I got very attached to an antique scale that I found at Salvation Army for 20 because, you know, it was like one of those old slidey scales that they used to have at the doctor's office and it was only 20. What an amazing deal. And none of this digital BS where you can't tell if it's actually calibrated or not. And that actually fell in, in the move and maybe permanently damaged, which

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Oh, no,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

is, well, it's at the end of the day, it's actually a good thing because if it's permanently damaged, then I don't have to feel so bad about not bringing it to Spain eventually. Right.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

excellent outlook

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

but it's still sitting in storage. you know, I have things like shirts that I am obscenely attached to from, um, my teen years that I never wear, but I still have them and they don't belong in a Spanish piso because, you know, Spanish pisos are only slightly larger than Parisian apartments. So I definitely have a collection of things which ultimately should not ever get to Europe, but I just cannot bear to part with. And then there are, you know, family heirlooms and things that have been passed down.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

and those would ultimately come here if it became your permanent home,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

right? Yep.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

it's a combination of things. And, you know, when Damien and I were filling ours, there's a certain amount of space that kind of is available. And so right at the end, you sort of shove extras. In because first of all, you're out of decision making power. And second of all, there's room and you're leaving on a plane in two days. And who cares?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yes,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So there's definitely that category,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah, we'll deal with this later.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

but it is funny. The things we hold on to, I, we held on to no furniture except for a hanging chair that I am like, like you just completely attached to, I got it on Wayfair or someplace it was. A sizable amount of money when I bought it at 600 for me, that chair was expensive when I got it. So I love it. It was, you know, meaningful in terms of what I spent on it at the time. And it evokes my grandma's hanging chair from when I was a kid, but it's way more comfortable than my grandma's hanging chair. So it's got like extra value, like. And, um, there was room, so yeah, in a storage unit in the middle of Seattle, going on years probably, because we're going to be here at least two years. Do you ever, do you ever do the math in your head of how much you're paying for?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

That is a sunk cost fallacy. It is like, it's, it's already gone, you know? So, it is what it is. And,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I guess it's already gone if you know you're going to keep the storage unit, because it's not like you're deciding that you don't need that stuff.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

exactly.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

the same way.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, and getting rid of, you know, the things which ultimately we wouldn't be bringing over likely would not free up enough space to downsize the storage unit.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Yeah.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

you know, why, why, waste my time crunching numbers,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I did, speaking of Day Roll, I definitely held on to my Rockin Gem collection and I definitely did not put it on the plane, but I would, oh, I would, it would be really hard for me to get rid of that, and so it's gotta be. You know, it's got to be paid for in storage long enough for me to decide that I'm a permanent resident of Europe or I'm going back. And that could take a decade or more to figure out. And meanwhile, it's just sitting there. It's kind of a weird thing.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, I actually did bring some of my favorite gemstones and rocks because

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

a, I brought a small handful.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, because they're just, for me those were decorative home pieces that remind me of home, and I really wanted us to settle in Spain feeling like we were in home and not an Airbnb or temporary housing. I really wanted it to feel like home for us. So, or at least for me.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

What was the biggest size or heaviest rock that you packed from America to Spain?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Not my biggest ones for sure. I think the biggest one I brought was probably an amethyst chunk that I would say would be about 8 ounces, about 450 500 grams. Yeah, nothing too outrageous.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

All of mine fit in my jewelry box. It was my smaller specimens that had been given to me by a person. Because one of the things I really wanted moving here was, like tokens of the people that matter to me. So like right before the Christmas before we moved my parents asked what I wanted for Christmas And I asked them to get me my phone case that I you know, it's just a silly plastic phone case I'd chosen on Amazon but having them get it for me means that every time I look at the case I think of them so a lot of those Small things I chose to bring are mementos of people.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I should just write those people a letter, it just occurs to me.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

They probably would love to hear from you.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Growing up in the army, I do have a habit of when I move, I have a pretty clean break from where I lived before. I usually only carry forward actively a small handful of friends.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah. that makes a lot of sense, that that would be the case. Because after, I imagine after one or two moves, you realize that you don't get to take all your friends with you, that some people naturally just kind of shed away.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Absolutely, and when you don't have a day to day relationship with somebody, a lot of friendships are circumstantial, and it's actually quite surprising to me which ones end up being long lasting. It won't necessarily be the person you spent every single day with when you were 13. It could be the, you know, the gal you just met at summer camp one year.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Um, but I do have a small collection of friends from every place that I've lived over the years. And this moving to Spain, excuse me, to France is really just an extension of that story. Damien and I both want to collect friends that live all over the world. Because one of our big dreams would be to just take a year and travel and go from friend to friend to friend and see where they live.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Oh, that would be amazing.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Wouldn't it?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah. Aside from Go ahead.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Well, I was going to say, how much connection do you have with your friends back home? Are you actively texting or letters or Zooms or nothing?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I have one friend that I Zoom with once a month to stay in touch, and she's always been so good at keeping contact, which I really appreciate, because that's actually not my forte. Of reaching out and keeping consistent contact with people. But I always deeply appreciate it when someone, um, takes that initiative and then I'm always eager to meet them there, but I'm not a strong initiator in that way. Um, so we speak once a month and I have, I have, a friend, a couple of friends from, you know, two friends from school age who I'm still in contact with. from childhood. And, you know, as far as the Seattle folks, there aren't many people I'm, actually, no, there's nobody from Seattle that I am in consistent contact with, aside from you. Um, well, that's where our friendship started. So I guess you're not really a Seattleite anymore though.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I did just apply for a speaking opportunity today and for the very first time it said, you know, what city and state are you from? And I, I couldn't actually bring myself to write Paris, France. I wrote Paris, France, parentheses, formerly Seattle, Washington. I couldn't completely give it up. I don't know. It was really weird.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah, it's not, it's not real yet. It's not very real yet for me either. Um, but you know, that said, I haven't lost complete contact with, with Seattle folks. We, actually just last month, my former boss was in Europe. Um, dropping his daughter off for a foreign exchange program up north and in, in Scandinavian country. I don't remember exactly which one, which is so embarrassing. And then he

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

that because you're back in the States right now and that part of your brain is turned back off?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

no, um, it's because I'm really bad at, um, keeping them. I think I probably need to go to Denmark and Sweden and Finland and have experiences of each of them in order to be able to keep them in my mind. You know, they're just sort of a white blob on the map where there's reindeer. and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

That also sounds like a very nifty excuse to have to go take a trip. I

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I concur completely. I concur completely. Anyway, he was over on the continent, and so he popped down into Spain, uh, because he knows somebody else in, in the area. And so we got to hang out with him for, for a day or so, which was awesome. So, you know, it's not, it's not that they're completely out of my life. I just don't have very regular contact with most folks from Seattle, which is consistent. I mean, we didn't have regular contact when I lived there. So,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

think that's one of the things about a good friendship is that you, like, obviously, you know, ideally have some things in common, but there's also a rhythm that has to align. Like, people who want to text with me, Have to understand that I treat texts like Victorian letters being sent by post on a, on a horse and, you know, and, and so if that drove somebody crazy, that's actually going to make our friendship harder. And then somebody who is texting me eight times in a row, three times a day, I'm like, Ooh, how nozzle off?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Right. Right. Yeah, it's communication style at the end of the day, right?

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It is. It is. It is.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

How has your week been?

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Well, aside from the trip to Dayroll,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Oh, did you, did you get anything at Day Roll? Aside from the book?

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

no, just the book. I mean, we're moving every three to six months. I cannot weigh

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

know, but dead animal skeletons and little curated, like, jars.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Nope. All I came away with is a new friend and that's just going to have to be enough.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Fine.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Oh, and of course a new, you know, item on my Instagram feed. So I do get all of that wonderful visual in my face, you know, and that's really funny because like those computers that we carry in our pocket. They are a part of the clutter of our lives, um, and they actually do add texture and dimension to our day to day lives, too.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

That is true.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Mm hmm. Um, what good happened? I don't know what you know. I've done some successful shopping. I bought shoes, but I think we've talked about that.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

We talked about your boots,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Um, I got mail, oh, I got mail at a USA unicorn fairy magic level. Let me say it that way.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I, you said, I got mail and I hear the a OL voice in my head. You've got mail

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It's very funny. Not that kind of mail. Physical mail by post, by courier.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

So it was sent from the US and it arrived in France.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

No, no goodness. No, but you know, we've talked about how one of the things that we've given up by moving to Europe is that Uber convenience. Like order it today. It's in your house by 3 p. m. Not really a thing here in Europe, which we're grateful for because it goes with all of the other lifestyle stuff. Well, I am going to a design conference in two weeks called KBiz. I am speaking there on the topic of how you help your clients make decisions. And I knew I was pushing the deadline for getting things printed, but I was like, I still have two weeks. I'm sure that's fine.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Oh my gosh.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

But as I was pushing the print button, I was like, Rebecca, that was dumb, but, and because I thought it was gonna be easier than it was. I should say a couple of things here. So I designed the post as a postcard and a business card. I designed them on Canva. Love that program. They have an easy button. They will print things for you and I've used them before and it was fantastic. Well, that was in the United States. Come to find out that easy button does not work here in Europe. So of course I'd already set up the whole order. I was kind of annoyed about that. So it took me another two hours to reformat, whatever. But I went to good old Vistaprint. The thing is most websites, you have to change the ending. So it would have been Vistaprint. com in the States. Here it's Vistaprint. fr for France. I assume you guys have something similar in Spain.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

we do, yeah. Everything is like Es, it's Etsy Es. It's uh.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Oh, for España.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Mm hmm.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Okay, got it. Um, so I did, and I uploaded my files, and it said it would get here between the 14th to the 18th. That was Saturday. Today is Tuesday the 11th, folks. And it showed up this afternoon. That blew my mind. So, um, yay to this to print. I love the quality. The timing was phenomenal and, uh, they have a loyal customer in me.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

That's fantastic.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

This is the excitement of being an entrepreneur. Guess what I got in the mail? Postcards. But it is huge because I am continuing to try and figure out how do I run my company from here? How do I do the things I need to do from here? Because I had, I had a whole system for all of these things in the United States and I had my trusted vendors and I knew my timelines and I don't know anything here, but I am still trying to make a living.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So this feels like a big win.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

That's a huge win. I mean every little thing like that that One, you discover how to do, and then two, you discover it's easier than you feared. Is a massive win.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I'm not sure anything has hit the, that was easier than I expected button being in France.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, that's pretty amazing.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I also don't think that I had successfully withdrawn money using my very own ATM card from a bank machine. Um, so that was the final step in confirming that France has my money and I can access it. So that was a little mini extra win too.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Amazing. I have a feeling within the next six months, especially now that you have a bank account, you'll easily be able to say, I'm from Paris, France.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

suis de Paris.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

There we go.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So yeah, it's really been really normal life stuff this week. A lot of wins, but it's not necessarily wins that are specific to being in Paris. It's more like specific to running your adult life, which that in and of itself is a win. It does mean, as you say, that I'm settling into a rhythm and it's becoming my, my home territory. Oh my gosh. To the point where I was sitting on the terrace. And it's been really cold. It's like one to four degrees Celsius, which is chilly chilly. And then some wind. And I sit, I'm sitting there and I say to Damien, It'd be really nice to be on a beach right now. And then I gave myself an emotional smack upside the head because I'm like, Rebecca,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

You're on a terrace in Paris.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

precisely. It's amazing what our, what our brains will do with the grass is greener stuff.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

goodness.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I know. Yeah, it's, it's super hilarious because, um, you know, in one of our recent episodes, I was complaining about how cold it was in Girona. Because it was, you know, it's like right at freezing and it had been in mornings for a week. And that was before I realized that, you know, my trip back to the States was going to include a side trip to Alaska where,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

How cold is it there?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

uh, it is I mean, it's, it's finally warming up now, but when I arrived, it was consistently about negative 13, negative 15 degrees Celsius.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

That makes my whole soul shiver.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, which, you know, for, for our North American listeners is, um, is, you know, between five, five and eight degrees. And yeah, and, and, you know, it's interesting though, because it hasn't been, um, it has not been, it has not felt as cold as I remember that feeling, which may be because I have a proper winter coat now that I picked up. for our trip to Madrid.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I mean, the right clothes do make all the difference in winter

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

make, they do make a difference. And you know, when I was growing up in Alaska, that the proper clothes were like so big and poofy that you can't really move in them. And they're just not, they do the job. But other than that, they're super unfunctional to like, try and be a human and not. Not

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

it's like the snow, the snowsuits that we put the toddlers in and now they're just a little tiny marshmallow man.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

bingo, precisely, precisely. So fashion has evolved since then. Thank goodness. So I have a coat that I can mostly move around in and it's one of those long coats, right? The calf length coats. And I've never owned one of those before in a winter version. And it's doing the job quite well. It's doing the job quite well.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It's one of the things that the Parisian ladies definitely figured out. Now, the Parisian ladies also leave them unbuttoned and open to the wind because it's more fashionable. So that aside, Uh, unless it gets really cold and they'll belt it up, but it's all calf length coats and wow, that makes a more, I mean, first of all, it makes you look super fancy and dressed up, which is cool, but it is remarkably more warm than the short jackets that we're all used to in the United States. It's, it's kind of funny how some of the more fashionable things that I've taken on here in France are actually also very functional

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

as well.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah, it is, you know, on that, on that thing about European, on the theme of European fashion. It is absolutely hilarious how in many ways The fashion is much more functional, like calf length coats, shoes that you can walk miles and miles in and not want to, you know, cut off your own feet to spare the agony at the end of the day, and yet how people utilize the fashion here is sometimes absolutely ridiculous, like keeping your coat open to the exposed wind, because that's what you do. That's the fashionable way to wear the coat. Or in Spain, the calendar dictates what you wear, not the weather. And so if it is, you know, if it's April, but it's freezing out, you still dress like it's spring. If it's October, but it's 80 degrees, you're still walking around in a poofy jacket, because The calendar says so, and I'm like, oh hell no, this is where I will out myself as a foreigner because I'm not going to be sweating bullets in a winter jacket if it's 75 or 80 degrees out.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

That's so funny. But I want to go back to what you were saying a second ago. I hadn't thought about how we think of, especially the French Parisian stuff is so fashionable and it tends, does tend to be wool and cashmere and khaki and beige and cream, which all you think of as very high maintenance, low function, but you're absolutely right. Everything is wearable. It allows them to just exist. And the quality, by and large, everybody, whatever socio socioeconomic level you're talking about, they're dressing better than the equivalent American.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

And that better equates to the stuff just lasting longer and being something you can actually maintain in the first place. The whole thing is, it's, it's much more nuanced than I had ever realized,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

me too, me too, but I get, I think we don't really think of fashion in a nuanced way most of the time in the States.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

or that something luxurious would also be practical.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

right,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Those aren't usually equated.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

mm hmm,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Wow. It's, it's like living. I mean, it really is like living in an episode of Star Trek where you're just kind of going, well, they're humanoid, but it's just a little off,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

but it's just a little off,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

but I love it. It's so fun.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

How are you feeling back in the culture of Alaska? Any, um, cultural friction?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

um, Yes, but that's not a U. S. cultural friction so much as a, oh, this is my small town I grew up in and this is why I left friction.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

The same friction you would have felt just visiting from Seattle.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Exactly, exactly,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

So for me in Kentucky, that means, uh, every single grocery clerk has to ask me about myself and my business. What drives you crazy in Alaska?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Um, I don't know if it's small town stuff or if I don't, or I don't know if it's, I suspect it's more Latin culture stuff, but it's all the gossip.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Oh,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah, it's just all the, all the gossip, um, not in a favorable way, but a lot of, a lot of backbiting and, um, just very unsavory talk.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

well, that's no fun.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

No! It isn't!

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It's always hard to go home again. The, your buttons get pushed so easy. There's certain things that always make you feel like you are home, even if it doesn't necessarily mean it's a place you want to be,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

right.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

they know how to get your buttons.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

For sure. And it's, you know, it's one of those things where like, Oh, right, right. And, you know, I actually admonished myself a little bit because I was like, you know, this is like this here. And you thought that you could be here for more than four days without it showing up. Like, what were you thinking, child? How could you forget? How could you forget? Um, but you know, I, I, I know how, I know how to deal with it. I know how to adjust to it. I know the things that I have to do for myself to just me, you know, to just deal with it, survive it because. It is what it is and they are who they are and

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

And it hopefully make you feel even better about getting back home.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Indeed, indeed. But, you know, I am, I am, um, liberally consuming string cheese and that's a bonus.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I am still craving Raisin Bran and have every intention of getting my mouth conjoined with a box of Raisin Bran when I get to Vegas.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

that sounds so very sexual.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

That's the level at which this craving has reached.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I get it. I get it. you know,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

string cheese when you get back on the plane?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I I probably will if i'm not sick of it, you know the the fervent need for it that I had Last year is not present. It's it's now it's kind of an enjoyable convenient thing for me. Um, So if i'm not like over it, I I will totally i'll totally uh, bring some back. I I will say though that Being you know, I I spent so many decades really hating Alaska and being here this time, you know, despite the, the social absurdities, the sunsets are glorious. The sunsets right now, this winter are absolutely stunning. And I've been gone from the state for 25 years. And that's long enough that now I come back and I find that the landscape distracts me the way that it would distract somebody who is here for the first time. and it can be dangerous. Like, because you're on the freeway driving and the sun is starting to set. And in the, in the Alaska state song, one of the lines is purple mountains majesty. And when the sun is setting, the way that the light hits the mountains does turn them purple. And it's really phenomenal. It's, it is glorious. It's, it's a really beautiful sight. And because the mountains are so huge and imposing on the landscape, it's impossible not to notice them. And they can be highly distracting. So. I've had some good walks with friends while I'm here too, and, one of my friends even took me for a stress relieving weightlifting session on Saturday, which was amazing. So, um, yeah, that was great.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

I'm glad you're having good moments. If people want to see these beautiful purple mountains, what, Alaska is a fairly large state. What part of Alaska are we talking?

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I'm in Anchorage right now. so those are the, the Chugach Mountains that, that they would be seeing. If I'm remembering correctly, I believe it's the Chugach Mountains. and they are in the, they frame the eastern side of the city. So that's the other thing is it's very easy to navigate where you are in this town because the mountains are east and no matter where you are you can see the mountains. And from there you can orient yourself to whether you're heading north or south or whatever.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Damien and I got to take a more normal touristy vacation to Alaska one year, and it remains one of the best trips I've ever taken. And we splurged on a helicopter ride that had us land on top of a which meant,

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Whoa, cool.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

we were walking on top of So much ice, which is one of the things that I loved about living in Seattle with some, as a geology major, I would sometimes just walk around and try to imagine a mile or two of ice above my head or, you know, whatever the thickness was. So we got to walk on that amazing amount of water and ice. And then those, those pools that are up there and the rivers that are up there and that blue color.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

other worldly. It almost is hypnotizing to the point where you want to. I wanted to step into that pool, but you can imagine magical creatures like sirens just beckoning you forward.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Yeah,

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It was one of the most Remarkable excursions I've ever taken and worth every penny.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

yeah. For those of you who are old enough to remember the popularity of neon colors in the 1980s, glaciers are like a somewhat transparent tone of neon blue. They are crazy in color.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

It's impossibly beautiful. Yeah, there's so much on this planet to see, even in places we don't really want to be spending our time.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Precisely.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Um, well, we've meandered all over the place. You feel like there's a, any, uh, a nice Packageable takeaways today.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

I got nothing. I'm going to throw that back at you because you always ask me that question. And now I think it's your turn.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Yeah, but I was the one that meandered. Meandered? I meandered.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

hence you're the one who knows what the lessons along the way are.

rebecca-west_2_02-11-2025_174449:

Okay, here's what I'm coming up with. If you are the kind of person prone to future worry, like me, which is not always an actually helpful habit, see if you can reframe it as action planning. Like, if this were to happen, What would you do? Because as Aimee says, it's a great way to reclaim some agency and power and turn it from worry into a plan.

aimee_2_02-11-2025_084449:

Perfect. Hasta pronto.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!