Bonjhola
The adventures of two American expat entrepreneurs - Aimee in Spain and Rebecca in France. Follow their adventures setting up new lives in these two countries while running their business, Aimee as a nutritionist at Vibrance Nutrition, hosting the podcast Blasphemous Nutrition, and Rebecca as an Interior Design Business Coach, hosting the podcast Stuff Interior Designers Need To Know.
Bonjhola
EP64: Breaking News: Aimee's Unexpected Journey Back Home and What it Means for Her Future.
Where to find Aimee:
- Instagram: @vibrancenutrition
- Nutrition Coaching: vibrancenutrition.com
- Podcast on Nutrition: Blasphemous Nutrition
- Substack on Nomadic Life: NomadicNomMom
Where to find Rebecca:
- Instagram and her life in Paris: @beseriouslyhappy
- Podcast for Interior Design-preneurs: Stuff Interior Designers Need to Know
- Biz Coaching for Interior Designers: seriouslyhappy.com
- Book on Interior Design Psychology: Happy Starts at Home
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcast about two women, Amy and Rebecca, who each moved from the United States to Europe to become expats, Amy to Spain and Rebecca to France. We're here to share the highs, the lows, and the logistics of this adventure, encourage you to follow your own move abroad dreams, and remind you that you're not alone when the going gets tough. Enjoy.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Amy,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Rebecca
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:You have some breaking news to share.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:is, is that what we wanna call it? I mean,
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Well, it.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:yeah. Yeah. So I feel like I should address my voice first because it's palpably. Different than normal. deeply sensual. Now that I'm in my forties, I, I feel like I sound less like Demi Moore, who I used to sound a lot like when I was sick and more like, I don't know. Winston Churchill keeps coming to mind.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yes, dear listeners, we are both overcoming colds. Um, you will not hopefully hear us coughing on this episode because we are good editors, but if you do hear ourselves sounding extra sultry now you know why.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Now, you know why? Yeah. I actually wasn't sick until, you know, I woke up yesterday with a mild sore throat. And when I travel, I always carry, um, this supplement with me called Wellness Formula. And it's produced by Source Naturals. It's available in the us It's an American company available in the us. It's also available in Canada and the uk. And in Europe. I get it through iHerb, so I always take it when I travel, and then have it on hand. So yesterday I woke up with a sore throat and I took a dose in the morning, and then I cut my day early took a dose in the evening. Woke up this morning, my sore throat is totally gone, but my voice has changed. And um, yeah, I just have like this. Nasty little phlegm cap on my voice box
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I feel that our listeners are now traumatized and they wanna unhear that
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:probably'cause it's pretty damn disgusting.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Maybe so. Maybe so. so I've been home in the States, um, and this is, you know, heads up, this is why there's been a very long pause in releasing episodes.'cause I typically do the final edit and then launch. Um, but I have been in the states now for almost five weeks. Um. Some news came to me that led me to believe that I, I needed to come back here and check up on things and, um, so I've been kind of here, boots on the ground working on, supporting, family with, uh, with a lot of different things that. with decline as we age. And, um, I don't know to what extent I want to go into the details but shortly after arriving, it did become very clear to me that, that we need to move back here. And it's easy for me to say that while I'm here and I'm immersed in it, and I'm like, there's things to do. There's things I can do. I'm being given permission to do things that can create meaningful change in a positive direction, just for family, but also for, for my future and my my son's future. now when I get back to Europe and I'm among the gorgeous architecture and the wonderful food and the beautiful lifestyle, may show up on an episode weeping inconsolably. Um, not there yet, but you know, I've, I've had some conversations about this with my husband and he's, uh, actually very. Very supportive. I say that as though it's a surprise. I'm not surprised that he's supportive. He said home, home is with you too. That's where home is, no matter where it's at in the world. He's like, for me it would be a lateral move because he's struggled with language integration, which of course keeps him distanced from the culture and, he's super introverted, so he doesn't make friends as easily. And he said, you know, with regards to his, emotional wellbeing, he feels at this point it would be a lateral move to come back to the states. Now we would not be coming back to Seattle. We would be going to my, my place of birth, and there is a lot more of my family here than there was when I was growing up. So it would also be a different experience for my child than it was for me
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:regards to connection and community that I never had here growing up.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:this is big deal. A year and a half ago, you were planning for the rest of your child's education to be in Spain. So that would've been at least an eight year journey. And here you are a year and a half. And because you're raising a child, you've gotta make some pretty timely decisions'cause of the school year, you know, do you try and make all this happen by the end of the summer? Do you try and take him outta school halfway through the year, which most parents try to avoid?
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Mm-hmm.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:These are not small things that you're suddenly pivoting on.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right, right. We have a year and a half left on our current visa before we need to renew. So we'll either, come back at the end of this summer, I don't quite know if it's avoidable. I don't wanna do this, or we could try and fulfill the length of our current Visa and stay until October, 2026. The Visa's approved. I can pretty much come and go, you know, for the next year and a half and take care of things. You know, there are some things that I can take care of from a distance, but there are some things that will necessitate more frequent visits regardless.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:While you are pretty sure that you are going to unex yourself, you're not sure about the timeline.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Correct. Yeah, that's a, that is something that I feel warrants a family meeting and I haven't yet talked to my son about this development. I don't know if Shane has mentioned it. To him and to what degree, but I wanted us to have that conversation in person, all three of us together to make that decision. Uh, You know, I've had, I've had a month to sit with it, process it. Well actually no, I have not processed it at all. I have had a month to sit with it, realize it is what has to happen, then put it in a tiny box and stick it in the back of my brain.'cause there's a lot of stuff that needs to be done here. My sister came up for a couple of weeks to help out. She is looking at transitioning out of her job. In the next year as well. so that she's more available, to support me. you know, I don't really wanna go into the details. I know it sounds like, well, that's a huge, like, that's a, why is everybody, I. Changing their lives so much for an aging family member. There's a lot more going on that I don't quite feel comfortable talking about on air.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I'm sure anybody listening who has an aging parent knows how complicated that sentence is. Where do you even begin, right? Unpacking that stage of life is huge and there is. I guarantee you, no judgment from anybody listening, because anybody who has been through it knows that there's no right answer. There is no easy path, and it's no fun. And you can only make the right decisions for you and your family, and those decisions may shift as you're going through them. It's like shifting sands under your feet, and all you can do is do your best with every decision.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right, right. What has come to light since we left shifted what needs to happen
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:you know, I think in part some of this is easier for me to accept and, and. Fairly gracefully navigate, um, than it is for my sister because in one way, shape, or form, being the oldest, I've prepared for this my entire life. I've known one day. One day there's gonna be, there's gonna be a lot of stuff you have to deal with and the way that it is coming to pass. Honestly, I'm deeply grateful for because you know, I, I feel like I have a runway that I can take. It's not a sudden phone call emergency, drop everything and take care of things. I've been blessed with time and support.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And it's just another stepping stone or chapter.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:We don't know that this means you'll never be an expat again because
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:I'm already looking at logistical backup plans
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:round, like.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:you in fact are still young in years that you'll have your entire empty nest chapter coming before you know it. I think that's really what sums up the expat lifestyle. You do have to take it day by day. Some days that means you move back to the states some days that means you resubmit paperwork for the umpteenth time and you, you have to be willing to, what, what do they say? Like bend with the wind like a willow tree
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And that's what this teaches you.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah, yeah, for sure. mean, everybody I've ever spoke to who has lived abroad in Europe and returned to the States has not felt good about it. You know, even if it was the right decision. I once had a client who, had to return to the United States because at the time where he was living in Europe, to mental health support was relatively non-existent, and that was something that was very well established in the States brought him back here, but. As he was telling me that he was like, I really wish it wasn't so, and now I don't have the chance to go back. Um, and that's sort of consistently what I hear. I forgot, and have, you know, have recently remembered that I do have dual citizenship with Mexico. I don't have a passport. Yet, but I am registered as a Mexican citizen in Mexico, and that could be a gateway back to Spain in the future. That may be a little bit easier than the digital nomad visa, especially with shifting political situations with the United States. You know, that's a possibility. You've talked about the international investor that you spoke with helped you get pathway to EU citizenship through Portugal. I'll be talking to him once I understand a little bit more about our future financial situation will look like, that I can see what is still available for us as a route to EU citizenship as well. you know, I am. Coming back. My expectation is that I will be needed here in the States for 10 years is, is my guess, my very hand wavy estimate, longer. I feel like I am not only stepping into safeguard and support, I. Everything that, this family member has, created, but also preserving my own history because it is what I grew up in, and I feel an equal degree of not being able to sit in Europe and watch back home degrade. I have equal strength of emotion about that as I do making sure my child does not think that behavior and education and everything about the US is normal. So I'm hoping after two years Spain, he's realized that, and that he will keep that in his memory. And I also am hoping to continue to have frequent travel outside the country so that becomes a deeply embedded part of his, his reality. I think too, being here and being among, you know, Mexican family will also help shield him somewhat from normalizing some of the. Cultural norms of his peers. but who knows because I'm, you know, I'm half Mexican, but I'm pretty damn American.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And Seattle is very different from Alaska in terms of culture and
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:this is
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:you know, so yeah, you're gonna have the opportunity to start an entirely different story. You guys have lived outside the country long enough that that will have an impact on the lens through which everybody sees everything,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:for the better.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah. Wow. I mean, I obviously knew this'cause I'm the one that started off the conversation, but I mean, this is a really big deal.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah, I am fiercely protecting myself from feeling the feelings. I'm just very much in practical checklist, strategize mode. Which I'm grateful for. I'm grateful I can do that because I also can't be here and do what I need to do here in the time that I have, which feels very short. Like honestly, the longer I'm here, the more I feel like I need to be here longer. There's just, you know, wave after wave of developments of different things in different areas that I'm just like, okay, crap. This needs to be taken care of. That needs to be taken like so much, so much I'll be flying into Seattle next week, and decompressing for about a week there, picking up some cliff bars for my son to bring back. And, oh, and chili mango for me. I cannot forget my chili mango because that's one of the main reasons why I was like, yeah, let's go back to the United States because my original plan. And I don't remember if we shared this on air or not, but I was originally flying back to the States because I believe we did talk about the mailbox situation in Seattle. I. Right, and while in Seattle I was gonna pick up some chili mango, and then not a day after we recorded that, then I got some news that was like, yes, you need to go back to the states, but you should look at changing your flight to go back sooner and stay longer and it's not Seattle you, you need to go back back. Alaska. So, um, so I still don't have my chili mango from Trader Joe's. And with everything that's been going on, I keep forgetting that I wanna get it. But I had a dream. I had a dream the other night. This is so hilarious. I had a dream the other night that. I was back in Europe remembered that I did not get chili mango when I was in the States and I was furious with myself. I was so mad and I woke up and this never happens to me, but I woke up and it took me. Probably about two to four seconds to realize that I was not actually in Europe, that I was still in the States and there was still an opportunity for me to get Chile mango. like I never have that experience of waking up and not knowing where I am. And so that was, that was a first for me. And there was just this palpable relief when I'm like, no, no, you're in Alaska. You can still get the chili mango. Just make sure you don't forget about the chili mango.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:That's very funny. The food cravings are so funny. I just got back from Vegas and my whole goal when I was there was to find and eat raisin brandand. And so I pretty much spent the last week eating raisin brandand
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yes.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I loved every bite I.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Oh, good. So you didn't get sick of it in a week's time.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:No, and unfortunately I actually had some left. I bought like the family size box, but I didn't have room in my luggage'cause I also bought some clothes and stuff. But it's okay. I filled. I filled the need and I feel I feel much satisfied. I also had some string cheese on your behalf. Um, it was interesting though'cause in addition to all the Raisin brand, I was eating out, I was having some snacks, I was eating at the conference, I was eating kind of nonstop. And it was fascinating to me because despite all the eating, I was also constantly hungry. I was surprised by how quickly I slipped back into the salt and sugar cycle that defined my existence in the United States and how often I was being cued to eat.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yes, the
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:cues are everywhere.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:there they are. And I was thinking about it, and it's not, yes, there are fewer food cues in France. The food ingredients are better, which we've talked about ad nauseum, but in addition, because the language isn't English, a lot of the food cues that are there, they just kind of wash over me. And so I think it's a combination of the French culture and also that if I were an expat anywhere, I wouldn't be getting all the marketing messages because my ears just aren't tuned into them the same way they are in English. It was.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right. That's such, um, that's such an obvious, but. Mm. Like, that's such an obvious observation that Oh yeah, of course. But yeah, I never thought about that. You're absolutely right. And that, you know, that extends beyond food cues. But any, any political talk about the country that we've expatriated to is gonna wash over us. We're not gonna be connected to that until, you know, deep integration into the society. Um.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:The pharmaceutical ads, same thing. You, you can,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:there aren't pharmaceutical advertising really, at least not
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:there is some, there is some here in France. Yeah. Not to the same extent, but you know, now that I'm starting, now that my language skills are improving, I'm starting to notice them in a way that I hadn't earlier,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Okay.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:but they still. It's almost like I'm watching them from outside. I can be a lot more critical and my logical reasoning skills are still on. Whereas when it's in your mother tongue and it's queuing the nostalgia of your childhood or the fears of your own culture and stuff, you're not using your logical brain to analyze those ads anymore.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:It's really interesting.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Oh man, that's such a powerful observation, huh? I've had, I've had kind of the opposite, experience here because it's been go, go, go, go, go. I'm, you know, I'm staying in a place where there's a full kitchen, but it's not stocked with anything. And there's no, there's no time to cook meals right now. And so I'm kind of like on one meal a day plus. Maybe some snacks before bed so I don't wake up in the middle of the night hungry, which has happened multiple times. So I feel like I'm actually eating quite a bit less. I'm certainly moving a lot less. My goodness, I walked all three malls in town because I was bored one day and just kind of needed to get away and decompress. So walked all three malls that are available in this, in this town. And I ended up at the end of the day with 9,000 steps, which is on the low end of what I get walking around living my normal life in Spain. And that was just so disheartening'cause I felt I was trying so hard and achieving so little.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Our country not.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Not at all.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:To eat whole foods, to walk regularly. You have to work so hard for that in America that it, it feels impossible when you're also trying to live the rest of your life.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah, that's, I'm, I'm so worried about you going back to the.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:me too. Me too. I'm gonna become like diseased and decrepit and and anxious.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Oh, I hope not.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:No, I, I mean, paranoid and anxious maybe. But,, you know, one of the things that I did when I realized what was happening and how long I was going to be away is I immediately a gym in the, you know, in, in the general vicinity. That was a reasonable distance from. Both where I was staying and you know, where, where I've been working and they have a punch card, uh, 10 visits for$85, which is super reasonable. I went and bought a punch card and it's valid for a year, which is great because this is not gonna be my last trip back. And so, and I found a personal trainer in case I wanted one. which I haven't, you know, I haven't utilized. But I, you know, I immediately, when I realized what was happening, I immediately went into, how do I take care of my health? How do I take care of my son's education? Which is, um,
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:deal,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:I wanna avoid using all of my naughty words here, but. Alaska ranks 47th out of 50 states in terms of quality of education, and the current government is wanting to cut the budget to education. Um, I looked at private schools. All of the private schools are religiously affiliated. We are not a religious family. And then, as my sister told me, she's like, you know, if you put him in a religious school that isn't necessarily gonna protect him from all of the things that you're concerned about public school kids doing. If anything, Catholics and Christian adolescents rebel hardcore during that. During that age. Yeah. So I am really worried about his quality of education, but I'm like, well, at the latest he will be going into 13 years of age. looked it up. And at age 16 he can take. Um, you know, basically the equivalent of A-G-D-D-G-E-D and transition out if he wants to get out of the public system, completely complete his, you know, his high school diploma do something else with his life, which I would fully support because I went to school in this town and if I wasn't so terrified that my parents would kill me in my sleep, I would've dropped out. It was just a terrible experience overall. Um. Oh God, yeah. There's some really bad teachers up here. And this was in the nineties, so overall national education has gotten much worse since the nineties. So I, I'm, I am very, very concerned about that and, you know, don't have time to do further investigation until it becomes more urgent to do so.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah. And those are two very different things. Your health, you have so much more control over. It's a choice. Am I gonna make time to go to the gym? Am I gonna take time to go for a hike? But the education part so much of it is out of your control By design. You're supposed to allow your child to go off to school and learn how to be an independent human, but you want them to do that in a healthy environment. And that can be really hard defined in today's education system in America.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. He's fairly self-motivated, so homeschool may be an option when he's a teenager, but he really needs the social aspect of life deeply, deeply, deeply. So I'm hesitant to even do that, and I, um, I don't know that we as his parents can him do justice with overseeing his education from a homeschooling perspective. Um. It's easier to go into a PTA meeting as a tiger mom than it is to manage your own child's curriculum.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Definitely. It's interesting because these conversations are so aligned with the conversations we had when you were originally thinking about moving to Spain. It's all the same questions. I mean,'cause Alaska really is kind of like a whole nother country when you think about it. You're just ex padding again.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:That's true. That's very true. In fact, Alaska is so much like another country that,, when I was growing up, you could go to Europe with an Alaska. Alaska flag on and, and or the, the state on your sewn onto your backpack. And they would not recognize you as an American citizen because like you say, you're from Alaska. Oh, wow. And they don't even think that you are from the US because Alaska is like, you know, on the map, it doesn't look like it's even part of the us. Right. Yeah. And the culture here is, is, is a bit different. I will say. I am stunned. I am stunned by how nice everybody is up here. I have people open doors for me. I'm not pregnant and they're opening doors for me. That was the only time, only time I ever had somebody open doors for me was when I was like, so, so incredibly pregnant that they were concerned for my wellbeing.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:You were living in Seattle where
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Femininity means let me do everything for myself. Don't you dare suggest that I might be a delicate flower, and all the men are afraid of you getting really angry at them for considering you as a delicate flower. So I'm not entirely surprised to hear that.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah. But it's not just men though. It's men and women. Like people open doors for each other here, which is super cool. It's like, hi human, I see you, I recognize you. Here, let me do this. And, and like engaging in, in the public, in transactional situations, whatever people are chatty, they're, they're friendly. And is February in Alaska, like growing up, this is the worst of the worst months, where in my memory, people were the most contracted, the most. Angry the most. Like, let's just get through this hell and get it over with. Now I say that this winter has been way, way different. There was hardly any snow up here this winter. The first week I was here, it was, between zero and eight degrees. Then it rapidly warmed up to above freezing. So the little snow that was here is largely gone now. it's like. 42 degrees. It's terrifyingly warm. Like if you want to have a true global warming experience, to Alaska.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Well, the glaciers have receded to almost nothing.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:They have, I noticed that last summer when I was here. I, I dunno if we talked about it, but we went to a glacier that I'd gone to as a child and the glacier had gone all the way up to the visitor center
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:we had to take a boat to go see the glacier. Now because it's receded a mile and a half since the 1980s.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:yeah. Whether or not. We caused it is not really the question anymore. It has happened. It is happening. It is changing. Now we have to decide what's, what do we do from here? What's really striking me'cause I grew up in the military and so I left places a lot and I almost always fell in love with every place I lived. It's just my nature. But as a result, I never really liked going back to places. You know, they say you can't, you can't go back home. And I always found that to be true because the, the pillars that you remember, the touchstones that you remember change, it's really nice to kind of flip that script and realize that it can also change for the better.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:You were not thrilled the idea going back to Alaska, so. Some of the silver linings and rainbows, because I think you're gonna need that.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Oh, a hundred percent. Absolutely I do. Absolutely I do. Didn't really kind of even entertain a woe is me. This sucks mentality. Because I mean, over the years I have come to see that this place is different than when I was growing up. Um, global warming will work in my favor because the, the bitter cold of the winters were, was really, really horrible when I was a teenager. Um, the couple of weeks that it was cold when I first arrived did not impact me, but. You know, it was two weeks of it. It wasn't months of it.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:know, certainly change for the duration. I, I really need to be a here full winner to see how it impacts me. Again, we have lots of family here that has moved into the state that wasn't here when I was growing up, so that is a wonderful thing. And I have had, breaks from the constant. Learning, strategizing, logistically, navigating plan, creating aspect of this trip to have dinner with and aunts I have a friend from high school who's still here. And she took me on stress relieving weightlifting dates when I first arrived that we could, we could both benefit from lifting some heavy shit. That was wonderful. She knows and likes Shane really well, and she's like, when you come back, we'll do monthly game nights. And I'm like, that would be so perfect for us. So we're coming into an environment that feels. More supportive than as I was growing up, and that's made all of this a lot easier.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I think that's beautiful I know you weren't sure when you wanted to share this news with our listeners, but I'm really glad you're sharing.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:answer was never, I never wanted to talk about this.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:But you know, it's such a common thing to have happen. Either you find that circumstances say you can't be an expat anymore, or you just emotionally decide, I don't want to be an expat anymore. So I think it's. Kind of a, a lovely gift that you're giving to me and to the other listeners of, okay, what's the unex padding journey going to look like
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:and what is the reintegration start to feel like? So thanks for taking us full circle.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah. Yeah. I mean the majority of people who expatriate do end up returning to their home country
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:worldwide. Like
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:worldwide, right? Like how many Mexicans come to the US to work and then they go home.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah. And for so many reasons.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:But you have to be open to that happening because you know, as they say in, well, as the Smart Buddhist meditation, Zen, people say resistance is where pain comes from, right? You have to roll with it.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Absolutely. And that's really just kind of an important quality to, to accrue to live life is to be able to be fluid and navigate things without. To hold, to hold things in your hands softly and not grip them too tightly. I used to be part of a, uh, acrobatic troop when I lived in San Diego and the director. Had like list he was creating called 10 Rules of the Circus and they have been so incredibly helpful throughout my life. rule number one is don't panic. It is literally a lifesaving rule when you are holding people up in the air by one hand being tossed across a room, doing insane balancing acts, super important no matter what. Do not panic. And that's one that I have really deeply integrated into how I approach everything in life. Because the minute we panic, we stop being able to think.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:It's from a place of reaction and panic that we make some of the worst mistakes,
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I talk about that in my decide course where when we're afraid or uncertain and things are unfamiliar, we choose the default choice,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:right.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:does not mean it's the right choice. The choice, we wanted a healthy choice. It's just, it feels like the safe, easy choice in the moment. Not a place we wanna be making decisions from.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Absolutely not. Yeah. You need a clear head and in order to have a clear head, you cannot panic.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Yeah,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:but you also touched on the idea of holding things lightly, so I'm guessing that's one of the circus rules too.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:No, no, not at all.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:No. Oh, well then they should, I think they should integrate that.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Hold things lightly. No. When you've got, when you are a, like a base at the bottom and you're holding somebody up in the air, you, you really don't wanna hold them lightly.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Go ahead and cut off that circulation.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:you wanna have a good firm grip on somebody, even if you're digging into their hip bones, like it's,
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I do love that concept of holding things lightly, though for me, that touches on the serenity prayer
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Mm-hmm.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:the things we can control and the things we cannot. I am just this week crossing my one year anniversary living in, in France.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Oh
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Is the big thing, but that is the big thing it's teaching me is how to hold on a little bit more loosely. I hate every minute of it. Do not get me wrong today when I found out that my paperwork
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. You hate every minute of what? I know it's not living in France.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I love living here, but learning to hold on loosely is not in my nature.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:okay.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And when you find out that you paid money to send something certified to the French government, and then you got the proof that it was received, and nonetheless, you stand at that window going, well, it's just not in the system. You're gonna have to submit it and wait two months again, like every. Fiber of my being wants to throw a tantrum, but
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:it won't do any good. So I'm having to learn what I can control and what I can't, and breathe through it and it, it is a real, conscious act for me. I am still learning it.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah, and it may be something that you never fully accept because you know it can be different and better.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Well that's true, but knowing something should be better doesn't mean that anything is going to change. Boy, that's thinking that applies to so many things. Yes.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yes. Yes it does.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:My mom and I have been talking about that a lot. She was able to come out and visit me in Vegas while I was there.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Oh, nice.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:With everything that's happening in the world we really talk a lot about the serenity prayer. What can you control and what can't you? And the idea of the sphere of influence. Most things are outside of my sphere of influence,
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:A hundred percent.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:but I can choose how I treat my neighbors and my friends and my clients, and myself and my family. And while they are smaller effects, if we all take care of those things, we will all be better together.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think those interpersonal relationships. Are going to be absolutely essential in the future. You know, they were so incredibly difficult to cultivate in Seattle and I. I am really, really glad that that's not my home state and that's not where I'm returning to. Gosh, I'm so glad. Never, never, never, people never in my life did I think I would ever say, thank goodness I'm going back to Alaska and not Seattle, because it took me like 20 years to overcome the trauma of growing up in this God forsaken state and. You know, 25 years to realize that at least for me, Seattle had degraded into a completely unlivable, super expensive hellhole.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Never say never you, you just
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:seen Never say never. Life can change and shift in ways completely. Unimaginable and,, you could step into a new reality that you never thought was possible.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And not only that you never thought was possible, but it can be something that you. I would've sworn up and down would be a nightmare. And it turns out to be the best thing that ever happened. My divorce was like that. That was one of the darkest periods of my life, I didn't see how I would ever dig myself out of that. Emotional well.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And here I am in a marriage that is straight out of a fairytale that nobody would believe if I wrote it in a fairytale, living in Paris.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Yeah.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I think if I were gonna leave our listeners with something today, it really would be whatever you're going through, whatever left turn life just handed you. It may feel dark and it may feel heavy, but it may turn out to be the most wonderful change. Keep taking one step forward through the darkness if that's where you're at, because there is light at the end of it, I guarantee it. As long as you keep taking one step forward every day.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Absolutely.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:And don't hesitate to reach out to us guys because we're here to support you through all of these ridiculous life changes.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Well, should we, uh, wrap up with that, Rebecca?
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:I think that's a pretty nice place to leave it. And Aimee, I'm really glad that you shared that with all of us because it is part of the journey.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:It is, it is. I mean, there's so much I could share, but, um, one, it's not my story to tell. And, and two, yeah, private things need to say private, but.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:We that unfold as you choose for it.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:And, uh, yes, yes, I'm sure. I'm sure additional details will come out in the future, but for now, that's all I'm willing to say.
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Thank you for joining us dear listeners today. Um, until the next time.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:I don't, what do I even say? Do I say goodbye? Do I say o wago? What do I even say?
rebecca_1_03-04-2025_190456:Mexican and you guys are practicing your Spanish, we can.
la-chingona_1_03-04-2025_100456:Okay.
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bonjola. If you did, the best thing you can do is share it with another person brave enough to move abroad. See you next time!